via The New Yorker We learnt self-pity when we were young. It was a sunny Sunday afternoon; you were 9 years old. Your parents wouldn’t let you have any ice cream unless you did your maths homework. It was achingly unfair. Every other child in…
For people in relationships or in love, February 14 is a day to celebrate romance with a heart-shaped box of chocolates and a thoughtfully written card. But for those in less clear-cut dynamics, Valentine’s Day creates a difficult quandary: How to acknowledge your insignificant other…
Me, posing and staring at my son who is doing something he is not supposed to.
So you want to have a baby. Spring is around the corner and people are getting ready to reproduce. I heard too much baby-talk lately so I think it is necessary to enlighten some of you out there. Let’s get pregnant, honey. That’s the biggest decision you’ve ever made in your life. And with it comes an endless list of to-dos, supply needs, and pointers to make sure you don’t screw up this kid’s childhood. But before you get to any of that, have you double-checked that you have all the necessary prerequisites to be eligible for the role of “parent”?
Surely, if you’re ready to take on that responsibility, all of the below should be no problem:
Keep a minimum of two plants alive for at least three months
Plug in your phone before going to bed so it’s not dead when you wake up five nights in a row
Mark all 6,709 unread emails on your phone as “read”
Learn the difference once and for all between shallots, scallops, and scallions
Cancel the subscription to the gym membership you accidentally enrolled in five years ago
Carry a watermelon around for a full day without dropping it
Schedule a doctor’s appointment about that thing
Schedule a dentist appointment about that other thing
Schedule a therapist appointment about many things
Breathe exclusively through your nose until you’re done reading this list
Delete any tweets you may have written talking shit about babies
Ask your parents if your own existence was really worth the effort
Schedule another therapist appointment after the above conversation
Three to five years relevant experience in keeping yourself and things (plants, cats, dogs, fishies….) alive
Ask yourself if you really want to go back to living with a roommate at this stage of your life
Review your calendar and make sure you don’t have any commitments over the next two decades that would conflict with raising a child
Watch Being John Malkovich right away. This has nothing to do with learning about parenting, but it’s just the kind of movie that’s a little too heady for a baby to appreciate
Listen to “Landslide” by Fleetwood Mac without crying
Listen to “Landslide” by Fleetwood Mac and realize that it’s actually brave if you cry
Couldn’t hurt to brush up on your multiplication tables
Start eliminating baby names based on who’s trending online
Unmute all your parent friends whose Instagram posts are quickly shifting from obnoxious to relatable
Forget every statistic you’ve ever read about climate change and overpopulation
Get in the habit of spelling out words you don’t want your kid to repeat, like F-U-C-K-I-N-G-S-H-I-T
Google “having baby scared don’t know what i’m doing”
Get ahead of the curve and familiarize yourself with the PAW Patrol extended universe
Shriek in the background of your partner’s Zoom calls to make sure they’ve got a handle on the mute button
Attend a mandatory three-hour virtual seminar about how to properly onboard your baby into existence
Update your household’s style guide to render a verdict on whether to call the baby by its first name, a nickname, or “Mr. Baby”
Reach out to current moms (at any child stage but preferably newborns or teenagers) you know for an informational coffee at their home with the kid(s) present
Remember that no matter how unfathomable becoming a parent may seem, literally billions of people have done it before you, and most of them didn’t have iPads to shove in front of their kids’ faces when things got tough. It will be miserable, it will be the best thing that’s ever happened to you, and it will be a great excuse to stock up on applesauce
Oh shit, almost forgot: DIAPERS. Jesus, yes, definitely get an avalanche of diapers. However many diapers you think you need, quadruple it. You will no longer have a home. You’ll have a diaper storage unit with beds in it
During my careers over the past 25 years, I’ve developed a few strong work beliefs. For example: Always have hard conversations in person, not over email. Take all your vacation, and stay home if you are sick. Everything takes forever, so factor in more time…
Who am I to offer life advice, but here goes. In a fun way, because humor and smiling wins. Enjoy! How do I live longer?Stress is a leading cause of early death. Avoid stress by spending every single day thinking about what you need to…
So, I am obsessed with everything Japan. When I travelled to Tokyo last year, I realized that Japanese technology and lifestyle is way into the fulive well in the future already. While I was in awe most of the time, I even fell in love with the Japanese toilets. Especially after watching the Japanese movie “Perfect Days”. Since my toilet at home needs repair, I am considering purchasing one of these babies because once you have a Japanese toilet, it will take going to the toilet to a different level. This is probably how it will all go down, though (no pun intended):
Congratulations, we’ve successfully installed your new Japanese toilet. I’m Haruki, your toilet technician, and—I hear you loud and clear: you desperately need to go number two. Let’s get you logged into your new toilet.
No, I’m afraid you can’t “just go fast and then log into the toilet”—you need to activate your Murakami subscription to enable flushing. Don’t think of it as a recurring monthly fee for standard toilet functionality; consider it the premium you pay for our constantly evolving suite of features.
All right, your toilet is ready for Bluetooth pairing. I promise, after this quick initial setup, you’ll think: “I can’t believe I used to poop the old-fashioned way.” Yes, you do need to enable two-factor authentication, or else your toilet lid won’t unlock.
Let me repeat back what you just said to me. You said: “Please, please, please, for the love of God, hurry up.” Did I understand your concern correctly? Great—I see the problem: you downloaded version 2.1.1 of the Murakami app, the version currently available in the App Store. We just need to manually override you to the unreleased nightly beta build, or the toilet will spit poop out backwards. I assume you’ve broken your phone? Not a problem; I’m happy to void your iPhone’s warranty for you.
I understand you’re currently about to explode. Almost done: we just need to establish your butt fingerprint. I’m afraid it is necessary—that is, if you want to receive your sixteen-dimensional Gut Intelligence Report, including microbiome, inflammation, and other exciting metrics. I’m afraid it’s completely impossible to enable this feature at any time other than the initial setup—and it’s sort of the entire point of a Smart Toilet.
Perfect—you’re now 100 percent set up! And we just need you to pick your “package”, which is technically not part of the setup phase. I recommend the Premium Plus Package, although the Gold Plus Premium Package does let you flush toilet paper. No, you cannot flush regular paper—only Smart Paper, which is currently impossible to find due to supply-chain issues.
I understand your poop situation is now at DEFCON-2, and yes, I am aware that lower DEFCONs are, for some reason, worse. I just need you to accept the terms and conditions—no, of course, we’re not sending your feces to the cloud. We only send your fecal data to the cloud. But don’t worry: it’s 98 percent encrypted.
No, we’re not a poop data-collection company. We’re a poop data-collection and monetization platform, but again, have no fear: we don’t sell your poop data to the highest bidder. We sell your poop data indiscriminately. Just imagine: by scanning your poop, we could detect you have Crohn’s disease up to two years before your primary care physician—and we’ll even tell you about it if you upgrade to the Certified Gold Members Tier.
Congratulations, you’re now ready to poop!
Oh… hmm… it looks like your toilet doesn’t recognize your butt fingerprint. Don’t worry, it’s not a big deal, but you should know your toilet is currently calling the police.
The “Tokyo Toilet” refers to a public art project and has inspired a photo book and the Oscar-nominated movie Perfect Days directed by Wim Wenders. The project involved renowned architects designing 17 unique public restrooms in Shibuya, Tokyo, which serve as the setting for the film.
Happy reading, happy pooping and go watch that movie, it’s amazing.
via Bleubird Greetings, and Happy New Year. I hope your break was restorative in whatever way you needed most. Heartwarming, soul-mending, surrounded by the people you like and love, or at the very least, a moment of stillness and quiet. We have one last day…
It’s 9:45 p.m. You put in an extra, late spurt – for supper, you had a toasted sandwich at your desk, brushing the occasional crumb from the keyboard while you kept at it. It was difficult. But now it’s done. You have made the progress…
A small pleasure is one of those tiny acts or moments that make you feel extreme peace or joy or gratitude. It’s easy to overlook them in our day-to-day lives, but once we notice them, we’re able to feel more present. For the past 9 years, I’ve been compiling small pleasures in my Notes app, in my journals, and in my mind.
I came across the book “Small Pleasures” by The School of Life a few years ago. It’s one of my favorite books — reading it is a small pleasure in itself. Every chapter touches on a different moment, like that feeling when you’re finally fully recovered after being sick, or when you’re physically exhausted after a productive day, or when you and someone else dislike the same person, or the feeling of a night alone at a hotel.
Small pleasures just always feel so good. And they help us see life from a fresh perspective. They might be small, but they’re a big inspiration.
As an introduction to this newsletter, here are just some of my own small pleasures I’ve been compiling over the years:
How to Experience More Luxury Every Day throught Small Pleasures
We all need to be experiencing more luxury in our daily lives. By luxury, I don’t necessarily mean expensive. Unless it’s expensive in a Tom Ford perfume kind of way (my weakness).
Treat your home like a small gallery
I have small tables in one of my reading nooks/rooms and I use it for displaying my favorite books and objects. It’s kinda like my “what’s on display for this week?” table. Right now, I’ve got a poetry book by Fernando Pessoa, Robert Louis Stevenson’s Treasure Island which my son is reading, a book on gardening that a friend gifted us, and a candle.
Keep a stash of extra journals and stationery
I’m all for having a bunch of journals handy. I am a writer, I need those things. I prefer the Japanese brand Hobonichi. You’re at a stationery store or traveling? You’re buying a journal—even if you have 10 new ones at home. It’s nice knowing you have a collection of beautiful journals, cards, and sticky notes of all sizes and paper types and colors. They also make great gifts. I also recommend having blank cards and envelopes too so you can design your own with markers and pencils.
Get an incredible hand soap
Hand soap is one of those things I will always splurge on. To wash your hands is a daily and necessary act and I may as well have the very best!! My go-tos that smells incredible are the Bath and Body Works soaps. Or just thrift a nice soap dispenser and put whatever soap you want in there.
Make your home smell good
Speaking of scents, your home deserves a few signature scents. Usually, I’m in a candle mood, I’m burning Library from Maison Markosian.
Fill your fridge and pantry with fun items and prioritize the presentation
My non-negotiables: English breakfast, fancy soups and bowls, good honey, berries, assortment of cheeses, coffee for days, and teas of all flavors. I don’t drink alcohol but cracking open a fun beverage (something frizzy, oxymel, lavender syurup with sparkling water) at 5 pm, adding a singular big ice cube, and sipping it out of your favorite cup or glass? There is nothing more luxurious. I don’t care if I’m eating the simplest meal by myself—I will put a lot of care into the plating because it makes me happy.
Make time to microread
Even if it’s just for 5 minutes! I can’t stress this enough. It’s better to read just one page a day than not read at all. Sometimes I don’t read because I think I need an entire hour dedicated to it, but it’s been freeing to let go of that. I’ll squeeze in a few pages in the morning or while eating lunch. And always carry your book around. Giving yourself time to read every day is one of those necessary luxuries.
Treat your morning routine like a special ritual
I love getting ready in the morning once I am fully awake. I listen to Spotify, take my time with my skincare routine, get dressed and drink some warm lemon water and coffee or tea. The whole thing lasts no more than 30 minutes but it’s the best way to start my day.
Never leave the house without a book
This is a rule I like to follow strictly. Unless my bag is too tiny, I will always carry a book with me. It helps to pack a lighter, more pocket-sized book, but if you want to bring your thicker books, go for it. Many times I’ve arrived at a dinner reservation too early or had an impromptu park hangout and I ended up being so thankful that I had a book with me. You want to have the option of whipping out a book at any given moment!
Treat your tastebuds to something new every week
Whether you’re trying a new restaurant or cooking a dish you’ve never made before, aim for novelty every week. Pick up a fruit or vegetable you usually don’t get at the farmers’ market. Make a reservation at a restaurant you’ve been wanting to go to since last summer. Eat stuff you don’t usually eat. I grew up a picky eater, so now I’ll try (almost) anything to make up for those years.
Learn something new and go deep
Find a topic you want to dive deep into. Maybe it’s art history, swimming, running, fly fishing, or crocheting — or all of the above. My brain always craves learning about multiple things at once, so right now I’m focused on modern art history, Frida Kahlo’s life, Mexican interior design, and AI’s impact on mental health.
Go see all the films and art exhibitions
Go solo or with company. I like a mix of both. I love to have dinner with friends and then go to the movies by myself. A while ago I went to see Pedro Almodóvar’s Law of Desire (1987). It’s a story following the life of a gay filmmaker in Madrid and the extremes we go to when we’re obsessed with someone. I won’t say anything else, but it was fantastic. As for art galleries, look up the galleries in your city and see what’s currently being shown and what’s coming up. I have a running list of exhibitions I want to check out, the neighborhood they’re in, and how long they’re going on. If I happen to be in the area, I’ll pop in.
Smell good all the time
I’m still wearing Tom Ford’s Lost Cherry almost every day, but I have a little bag of samples I frequently reach for with perfumes from Le Labo, Byredo, and D.S. & Durga. I especially love Italian Citrus, I Don’t Know What, and Rose 31.
Have do-nothing days
Christmas season can be super busy, so always make time for days when nothing is on the agenda. You never know what the day will turn into, and it’s one of the best parts of unplanned days. The day will feel soooo long and wonderful.
Again, pay attention to the small pleasures
This is how I try to live my life every day. And it’s the inspiration behind this article, after all! Look up at the clouds. Stare at your coffee while it brews. Say hi to your neighbors. See the sunset. Notice your body. Enjoy the cold. Eat lots of healty food. Take siestas. People watch. Have a hot beverage outside. Dine at a fancy restaurant. Let hot chocolate be your drink for this season. Reapply good smelling lotions. Take multiple hot showers a day.
What are some of your small pleasures?
via The New Yorker Have you ever been on hold for over one hour with your bank? My reason: subscriptions of a website I love to read ran out and cannot be renewed because my card was declined. For no reason! So, I called the…