.SOMETIMES RAW.

I am generally a pretty understanding person, but there are some things that get under my skin. You know when you are in a “mood” and then something pops out of nowhere and irritates you even further? Those are what I call my pet peeves. They are not cute or cuddly, but rather annoying. Here are just some things that really tick me off. My list of cringe-worthy moments that leave me annoyed and just….. peeved.

• Yell sneezes.
• Loud gum chewing and talking at the same time.
• Chewing with mouth open.
• Anything chewing and loud.
• Someone cracking their knuckles and then saying, “I am pumped. Let’s do this!”
• Extremely slow people.
• Someone who asks for advice and does the exact opposite.
• People who don’t replace the toilet paper roll.
• When people read a text with a question and don’t respond.
• When people are late.
• When people are chronically late.
• People who walk into the subway and stand right in front of the door.
• People who discuss being on a diet while I am in the middle of eating something unhealthy.
• Kids who say the food I cooked tastes disgusting.
• People who use thousands of hashtags.
• People who say “I mean, no offense […]” as if it downplays anything insulting they say to me.
• People who say “literally” when what they mean is not literal.
• People who clip their nails in the subway
• Line cutters.
• People who say “There are rules” for rules that can be clearly broken and nobody gets harmed.
• People who don’t know how to get through a security checkpoint efficiently. EVERYONE knows you have to take metals out of your pocket. At the airport EVERYONE knows to take off the goddamn shoes and that liquids are not allowed.
• When you let a car cut in front of you and the person doesn’t wave to thank you.
• Misspelling my name when it is right there in the email staring you in the face.
• When dog owners leave their dog’s shit anywhere but in the little plastic bags.
• Extremely slow cashiers, a long line in the supermarket and only ONE register open.
• Saying, “Let’s make plans!” then acting surprised when I follow up and make actual plans.
• Misleading labels on food. Food that only pretends to be organic.
• Gluten-free fanatics and vegans who only talk about how healthy this lifestyle is.
• People who talk over you when you are clearly still in the middle of the sentence.
• Passive aggressive behaviour. If you have something that bothers you or you want to say, just say or do it.
• When you are running after the bus, you lock eyes with the bus driver in the rear view mirror, and they still drive straight past you.
• When you open the door for someone and not only do they not thank you, they also glide straight past you as if people should open doors for them.
• People who don’t respond when I said “good morning” to them.
• When people repeatedly hit the elevator button, as if that will make the elevator arrive sooner.
• People who constantly look at their watch.
• People who are constantly on the phone.
• Anyone with an inflated sense of their own importance. “Don’t you know who I am-people”
• People who seal a ziplock bag without removing the air first.
• Clapping at the end of a movie in theater.
• The word “touché”.
• Receiving emails from a colleague with my boss cc’d.
• When people say “cool beans”.
• Sponsored Instagram or Facebook feeds.
• People who abbreviate things that don’t need to be shortened.
• People who tell you they ate something really bad yesterday and should really stay home. Just say you are taking a sick day. Nobody needs to hear the details.
• People who say “eh, you know” when you casually ask them how they are doing. A) I don’t know, and B) I want to know because I asked.
• People who send emails longer than six paragraphs. Call or explain in person. Who has time to read through all of that?
• Super fast 2-hour power point Zoom presentations. Nobody can ever focus or pay attention.

What makes you tick?

“Instead of wondering when your next vacation is, maybe you should set up a life you don’t need to escape from.” – Seth Godin

I threw out this quote at work a couple of days ago and got mixed feedback. Most appreciated it but some disagreed. They mentioned that they miss the ocean, the beach and that traveling is so much fun. Here, I do not disagree. This pandemic is tough on me, too and I love to travel. But the point of the quote is not whether vacations are fun and traveling is good. It is rather to always enjoy your life, not only while on vacation, holiday, or weekend. On a daily basis, I am striving to make my life the one I want to be living and to enjoy it. Even on Monday mornings (yeah, right!) because life is so short. I don’t see vacation as the occasional opportunity to escape my life but I rather craft a life I don’t need to escape from. You know how?

I make good relationships a priority. Good relationships make me happy and can never be matched by income, title, or career achievements. People matter and are worth the effort. To me, relationships, where I can learn something, am being understood and loved, and where I can give it all back are essential.

“True simplicity begins when you learn to enjoy the amazing abundance of what is already yours.” – Thomas Kinkade

I remove unneeded possessions from my home and life. Physical possessions are a burden to me. They require time, energy, money, and always distract me from the things in life that matter most. More stuff will not make me happy because I already have everything I need.

I make my work my job. My job is what I do for money to provide shelter, clothing, and food. My work, on the other hand, is what I am passionate about (writing, health, garden, nutrition, my son). Sometimes, pursuing a passion as a career is not always feasible. Or not yet. I know I am required to do the job in front of me for the sake of providing for myself and this little guy who follows me around for seven years. But there is still an opportunity to craft a life I don’t need to escape from by focusing on the good things that this job brings while aligning my passions around it.

I guard my time. Not everything in life deserves my energy. It is important to become more aware of what is truly worth the hours of this one, short, important life. I have not crafted the life that I love by saying “yes” to every opportunity or invitation that comes along. I have done so by guarding my time for the things that matter most and by learning to say “no” to whatever does not work for me.

I take care of myself. What matters at the end of my life is not the house I lived in, the car I drove, or the possessions I have. What will matter in the end is my health and how I treated others. However, an empty cup cannot pour into another. To me, it is important to rest, exercise, and live healthy most of the time to be the best version of myself.

Also, life is never just smooth sailing. Storms come and go. Sometimes as a result of my own poor decisions and sometimes as the result of living in an imperfect world. But, I still look for the good in the midst of it all. And there is always something good. Sometimes all it takes is a change and shift in mindset.

Also, it is Friday. 🙂

Yay! Another lockdown is around the corner and I am tired of it. Really tired of it. Even though I see this virus with different eyes now because I caught it three weeks ago but these lockdowns make no sense to me at all anymore. I rocked through all the symtpoms more or less okay and besides being tired and a bit weak everything is fine again. When I hit rock-bottom I came up with this “get-me-sane-through-another-lockdown” list to cheer myself up. It worked.

• Compliment others.
• Take a compliment without justifying anything.
• When a guest says your meat loaf looks like a giant fotball, don’t tell them that their partner is obviously gay.
• Don’t bite your cuticles. Even when nervous.
• Invest in quality clothing. Rather less quality items than too much cheap stuff.
• If your white shirt has sweat stains, throw it away.
• Take care of yourself. Don’t stink. Take showers. Get medical check-ups.
• Rest when you are sick.
• Get your teeth cleaned.
• Read.
• Join a book club. Join two.
• Don’t tell your friends with kids that if they die, you will take care of their kids.
• If you don’t like something someone says, say: “That’s interesting…..”
• If you like something someone says, say: “That’s interesting!”
• Don’t complain about your interior/exterior designers and how they messed up your 45,000 Euro kitchen or your garden design for 140,000 Euro.
• Give flight attendants your full attention during their in-case-of-emergency take off routines. Show respect.
• Engage strangers while waiting in line.
• Don’t reprimand people who call you sweetheart.
• Accept it: you are too old to drink more than two glasses of wine and sleep comfortably through the night.
• Enjoy when bouncers still ask you for your ID.
• When your partner is in the bathroom, don’t knock on or talk to them through the closed bathroom door.
• When a person doesn’t get your reference, don’t repeat, “Oh, just kiss my ass!” with the hope that they will.
• Listen to erotic audiobook when you scrub the bathroom floor and gangsta rap while cleaning the windows.
• Don’t worry about anything too much or too long.
• Get involved in a holistic, healthy lifestyle and ask me how to get started.
• Quit smoking.
• Ask your friend who is a shrink if you should see a shrink.
• Look at yourself in the mirror. It is you. Smile.
• Don’t use face-filter apps on social media. Or ever.
• You are unhappy in your relationship? Change. Stop complaining.
• Make love to your partner. If this doesn’t sound like a good idea, figure out why not. Then change.
• Clean your apartment/house like you have never cleaned an apartment/house before.
• Consider that step of buying a house instead of renting.
• Learn that life is more fun when you are loose.
• Take Pilates, hot Yoga, and give yourself a hug.
• No need to wear Lululemon Yoga pants for 150 Euro.
• Don’t say “you are busy” or “you are working on something” or “you have poor internet connection” if you just don’t want to talk to someone.
• Rather buy from an independent bookstore than the big “A”.
• Make love to your partner when they say, “It is your money. Do whatever you want with it.”
• Make love to your partner when they say, “I will cook dinner tonight, do the laundry, run you a hot bath while I take the kids to bed. Do you want a glass of wine and some dark chocolate?”
• Don’t lie. Obviously.
• Develop a signature look which says: I have good taste. I am clean. I am confident. You can trust me. People will know and feel if you are fake!
• Don’t get lonely when your partner is not around.
• There is nothing wrong with having nice things but don’t get in crazy debt.
• Learn how to fix things in the house.
• Don’t be lazy. Don’t cut corners. Don’t slack. Don’t infringe. Don’t be a slob.
• Listen to others. Stay calm.
• Oh, in case you forgot: Stop complaining.
• Be part of the solution, not the problem.
• If someone moves to make room for you, take up more room.
• If someone sneezes or coughs, run.
• If you don’t want someone to leave, sit on their suitcase.
• Even though you can take care of yourself, it is okay to let someone be nice to you.
• It is fine to take a nap on the laundry.
• If you stand in the kitchen long enough, someone will feed you.
• Just because it is gorgeous outside doesn’t mean you have to go outside.
• Just because you can fit into something tight doesn’t mean you should.
• If you want to be left alone, say so.
• If you want to surprise someone, lie in a bathtub and then jerk back the curtains when they sit on the toilet.
• Eat cheese with the refrigerator door open so it counts as a light snack and not a three-thousand-calories-cry for help.
• Clean your bedside table from empty mugs and wineglasses, and any ChapStick-rimmed glass of stale water with cat hair floating in it. Wait, you don’t even have a cat.
• Make a cup of tea that’s a thousand degrees too hot and forget to drink it until it is cold.
• Say that you are going to go for a walk in the crisp, cold air on a Saturday morning and then it suddenly being nighttime without you even having put on pants.

Sounds good to you? Then we are compatible. Stay happy. Stay healthy.