.SOMETIMES RAW.

Hello and Happy Tuesday! 

I hope you all had a better day than I did. Petit Joel is sick and I am sick of him being sick. It is so horrible. I mean, I try to do anything and everything possible but it is so tough when you are alone. My mom is here too, but this is clearly my job. I am the one who is up all night and my mom always says that she used to do it all too; thirty years ago.

Petit Joel woke up yesterday morning with a crazy cold – out of nowhere. Okay, we drove around with our bicycles on Sunday evening but we both had jackets on. It was not that cold outside and he was fine. He was also fine playing outside after our little ride and while eating dinner. Monday morning he woke up and was so sick. Runny and stuffy nose; coughing like crazy but thankfully no temperature. He was cranky, cried mostly all Monday and wanted to be carried by ME ONLY. Fun for the first five minutes but that is it. He weighs 17 kg by now. 

We all have had a cold. It sucks. There is no sugarcoating. I know how he feels because I have been there. But c’moooooon. Give me a break. I mean, nonstop crying toddler is hardcore. And it is not that I didn’t try to make it as comfortable as possible for him. I made him breakfast: he did not want it. I asked him if he wants to eat anything else: Banana. I sliced him a banana: he did not want it. I gave him something to drink: he did not want it and spilled it of course over my book that was on the table. And this was just the morning. With a nervous, angry side-eye I tried to stay calm repeating that “I know he is sick and it is not his fault!” As the day continued, he became more and more miserable. NOTHING was right. I knew he was really sick when he asked for a blanket to curl up in and a hoodie because he is cold. He never asks for those things. Also, when he wanted to GO TO BED. The night from Monday to Tuesday he and I did not sleep that much. I still have a baby phone for the night on VERY silent but I still wake up every time he makes a tiny noise. This poor little guy tried to find a comfortable position to sleep in but he could not! [And lack of sleep: SUCKS!] 

Today it was even worse. Runny, stuffy nose, angry most of the day, crying most of the day, coughing most of the day and just miserable all over. I did not get angry at him – why would I. But when I try to make him feel better and he screams and yells at me, this is when I eventually snapped. He does not let me clean his nose because his nose is holy and soar at this point. Nose spray: forget it! Wiping his nose: forget it! Cough sirup: forget it! Cough sirup mixed with apple juice: forget it, he is not dumb. I try to make him feel better, breathe better and get a break from the coughing: no chance. Then I lost it. I got so mad. WHY ?????? “I am not hurting him, I want to help him”, I thought while he cried his head off and I waited patiently for him to drink his “apple juice”. He looked at me and said, “No apple juice, mommy. Joel sleep!” So I put him back to bed. He continued coughing for about half an hour and passed out exhausted. 

What a terrifying two days. My mom just laughs at all this and said I should  just put a wet towel with some essential oils she gave me in his room. “Hahahah, you and your siblings were sick so much, it is not a big deal. Stop worrying. Nobody dies from a cold”, while telling me good night and smiling. Days and moments like this made me realize how much I love this little guy of mine. I know I would do anything and everything possible to make him feel better. He is  the love of my life. 

[While I am as quiet as possible going upstairs and downstair to not wake him up my mom just screamed from upstairs: I was just in his room, he is fine! He sleep like rock! Good night! “] Gotta love my mom. 

Hello and Happy Saturday! 

“We have a tendency to want the other person to be a finished product while we give ourselves the grace to evolve.”

I wrote about mentally growing many times on my blog in one way or the other. This is just one big theme here  because I think it is so important. There is so much out there that is interesting and worth discovering and learning. I also know that all I really need, I already have. The basics, you know. I think this is a great way to look at life. Just take a little assessment of your life right now. I would guess you have enough food, shelter, clothes (and usually way more than you need) and other basic necessities. I also guess you have someone who loves you or someone who cares about you. Family, friends and whatnot. Aren’t you quite comfortable, or mostly comfortable with what you have? 

Many don’t see life this way. They are miserable and constantly look for more. More materialistic things, more possessions, more entertainment and more gadgets to take their mind and thoughts off trying to find out who they really are. I did this for the longest time too; however, I am on a little different path now. These days I appreciate every single moment. Every single moment of being alive and I don’t take it for granted. I had been reminded of all this again because I have spoken to a  friend who’s father is very very sick and the Reiki Seminar I am attending this weekend. What actions can we take to help us remember that all we have is all we need? 

Stop complaining about things. Appreciating what I have in my life (food, possessions…) and enjoying the simple moments (those without entertainment) works best for me. 

Respect. Respecting others and giving everybody this respect we would like to receive. And live and let live. 

Meditation. I meditate daily for a while now and I just learned some great new techniques to calm down, relax and find inner peace. Amazing stuff. 

For me it is still hard sometimes to be in the present and being grateful all the time. Just think about all the distractions every single day and all that is going on – especially family/internal stories. I am getting better and better at it though because it is a process I am willing to focus on. I am willing to learn and evolve. Also feeling good about myself and who I am is important to become a greater version of myself. Thinking more clearly about the choices I make and why I make them is on the agenda. Life constantly moves on, it ebbs and flows every single day. I discover insecurities and successful or failed friendships; however we are all connected like in a spiderweb. One link falls, the spiderweb is destroyed. What I have discovered about myself so far: I see myself more clearly. I like what I see and it feels good to be in the here and now. I also learned that I let others be exactly how they want to be. Whatever makes them happy is fine with me. I don’t want to change anybody. If someone asks for advice on how I do things or on why things work for me in certain ways I am glad to help. 

I will forgive an move on. See the good in people and uplift other. I want to be a light for people who need one and accept anybody for who they are, meet ideas and things with some type of curiosity rather than being judgmental. Your Vibe Attracts Your Tribe – it is important who you surround yourself with. You have this urge to gossip? Talk about clothing for hours? Talk about nothing meaningful or rather spend time with people who uplift you and make you grow – mentally and spiritually? Whatever you chose, as long as it is okay with you and you are not feeling unsure about your own self. If we only point at both – mistakes and flaws in others, it is simply only distracting from our own stuff we struggle with and so it won’t feel so heavy and obvious. 

Changing and growing one single inch and just a little closer to my best self – whatever I envisioned and giving others the permission to be free too, that is a pretty thing. 

Hello and Happy Wednesday! 

I travel quite a lot with my family. For one because le husband is stationed in Congo; and soon Somalia. If he wants to see us we fly halfway, he flies all the way or we fly all the way to see him.  It is always something new but then again exciting. It is not easy to travel alone with a toddler. It was not easy to travel with Petit Joel when he was just five weeks old; then again my mom and I managed. We flew so many times by now that he and I have the main drills down if we fly alone. Whenever we are fortunate and le husband flies with us it is of course a lot easier. I wrote a post on flying with a baby a while ago if you would like to read it. 

What usually freaks me/us out when flying  are time changes. We tried many different options already. Flying really early but then we needed to get up at 3 am. Or flying late in the evening and at night and wake up in the new country. It has all its pros and cons. We just figured out what works best for us and I would like to share some tips and tricks today. Enjoy! 

Wear your child(ren) physically out if you fly in the evening. I don’t even remember how many times we went back and forth on this escalator. He loved it so much. We ran around with him at the airport. Even though it is stressful and you would love to just sit down and read a book (those times are pretty much over when flying with a toddler), but let him discover. You want your child completely exhausted so they can comfortably crash on the plane. 

NO SUGAR! I thought it won’t hurt to give Petit Joel a bit of milk chocolate or a chocolate croissant. Well, it did hurt. A lot. In my head. He had even more energy after eating this garbage than without. Obviously. With this being said, it is important to keep some sort of rhythm. We try to eat meals according to clock time. This way our bodies adjust quicker and a lot better to the new sleep schedule. Usually, whenever we arrive late somewhere, I give him a little snack and something to drink, if he wants to, before bedtime and he is fine and sleeps right trough. I have to mention here that my son is one of the best baby/toddler-sleepers I have ever met. [Sleeps through from 8. 30 pm until 10.30 am! almost every single night]

For him to sleep that well, he needs complete quiet- and darkness. The room literally has to be pitch black. When we rent houses they usually have blinds that work pretty well. But if not, we just attached a blanket to the window somehow. Le husband is pretty creative in that department. [Barcelona!] A well-rested toddler is a happy toddler so we try everything possible to make him (and us) as comfortable as possible. An extra hour of sleep, I mean c’moooon, right! We all usually adjust to the time change within a day. 

We always take my his iPad mini. I downloaded a bunch of great apps for toddlers and this keeps him entertained for a long time. Petit Joel will be three years-old in October and he is more familiar with the iPad than my parents. Some think this is bad but I do not. He has educational apps on it, he knows how to count to ten in English and German and learnt so much more with this amazing tool. We live with it, we learn from it; this is the future. At the same time he also plays in the dirt and runs around naked, duh! It is all balanced. 

The obvious you need to take is something to eat and drink. Always make sure you have enough (sugar-free) options available. I usually take pretzels, crackers, Knäckebrot and of course water to nibble on until airplane food arrives. He is a picky eater still, but anything pasta works!  My son LOVES apple juice so I keep a bottle of it close by and mix it with water. 

Airlines usually offer pillows and blankets and I don’t take anything like it with me. I just have my son’s favorite blanket that serves as a pillow and if he needs something to cover I take my jacket. I travel light and minimalistic, even with a toddler. And it works. 

Happy travels to you! Do you have other tips and tricks that work well?