.SOMETIMES RAW.

Hello and Happy Sunday! 

Thanks to Blogging for Books and the publisher for providing me with a free copy in exchange for an honest review. I read two books by Joshua Becker already and am following his blog. I am into minimalism myself and those facts as  well as the cover and title drew my attention to his latest book. This does not affect my opinion of the content or the book in my review.

“Security, acceptance, and contentment are not the only hidden motivations that might be driving you to buy too much. The more you remove, additional unhealthy motivations will begin to emerge. They may be difficult to uncover, but it is important that you do so. Some people buy more than they should because they have a sense of inadequacy and try to compensate for it with accumulation.”

Have you ever thought that you might have too much stuff? That your house or garage is so stuffed that you cannot even enter it? I read many books on minimalism already and when Joshua Becker’s had been released I was excited to receive a copy to read. Becker explains in one of the chapters: “First, let’s review what minimalism is. It is the intentional promotion of the things we most value and the removal of anything that distracts us from them“. What led me to minimalism in the first place was that I was tired of constantly cleaning, managing and organizing all the stuff that was piling in my apartment. When I moved I did not want to take everything with me and started to simply throw things away, donating them to just have less work without even thinking of a minimalistic lifestyle. 

If you are new to minimalism, this book is a great way to start your journey to declutter and give your life an overall cleanse. You will learn that excessive consumption leads to more piled up stuff in your house and eventually to a bigger house to store it all. Many love faster cars and to have the latest technology but does all this really bring happiness is the question. Are people happier just because they live in a mansion? Becker gives a lot of food for thought that made me realize that when I was younger I had a constant desire for more. To buy the latest fashion, the latest gadgets but I constantly wondered why it makes me happy for just a little while. Then I needed something else. Something fancier, faster, better. 

When I read the book I knew that I am much happier owning less. You will learn through practical tips and approaches how to declutter your life and home. Becker said, “You don’t need to start with the hard stuff. Start easy. Start small. Just start somewhere.” The author asks challenging questions that make you consider the minimalistic life. He also shows how we get manipulated constantly through advertisements, commercials, TV and so much more. I liked how Becker uses many examples from his own life on how his minimalism journey started. He also mentioned The Minimalists who I have been following for a long time as well as many other minimalists and their stories which is very inspiriting. Joshua Becker and his wife are the founders of the non-profit organization The Hope Effect with the goal to provide homes to orphans. All this became possible due to there minimalistic lifestyle and I think this story is fantastic. 

I loved the chapter on clothing. I don’t own many. This is my choice and I am fine with it. Quality over quantity. Becker offers many tips on how to clean your closets. Organizing my closet and clothes was easy for me. Books on the other hand was a different story. 

Becker talks about books and how he used to cram his shelves with books “to signal to anyone who visited his office that he was well read, intelligent, and worthy of esteem. When he understood this about himself, he felt embarrassed. He then removed two-thirds of his books, that he didn’t really need and realized that he no longer needs to impress others by the number of books in his shelves.” I love this. I am a huge book lover myself and I have a lot of books. Always had. To go through my shelves with a minimalistic approach I realized that books do not define me. They do add value of course in a way contribute to who I am, but they don’t need to sit around in my shelves forever. At least not all of them. So I keep the ones I cannot live without. 

I think The More of Less  is an extraordinary, inspiring and amazing book that I highly recommend even though if minimalism is not your thing but you would like to make some small changes in your lifestyle, declutter or discover some areas where you could apply some of the minimalist principles. 

Listen to this great interview with Joshua Becker or visit his website. Good stuff. 

Artwork Mischa Schenkel 

Hello and Happy Thursday!

“If I’m not saying ‘Hell Yeah!’ to something, then I say no.” Derek Sivers

I have been thinking about relationships lately. There was just too much going on with some of my friends lately that left me puzzled at the end of the day, wondering if this is all really happening. First of all, no relationship is perfect. Everybody deals with something odd in one way or the other. The thing I don’t get my head around is why anybody would ever choose to be with someone who is not excited to be with you? Just let this sink in for a minute. I think that there is just this grey area in dating and one person has just stronger feelings than the other. Sort of like, should you persistently ask the woman out if she seems cold towards you, doesn’t answer calls or messages and whatnot or  just leaves everything ambiguous. A friend asked me the other day what I think it means when the guy she is dating is soooooo nice to her when they are together but he is usually never around to see her and spend time with her. Well, honestly, ASK him why he is not spending more time with you. Another friend [my husband says I have a lot of weird friends,mmmmm!] told me that she is getting advice from a dating website and they tell you what you need to wear to get the guy you want or what to write to him. They just analyze everything instead of just looking sharply and with an open mind to what they are working with here. He is not calling you? Well…. he might be busy. He usually calls you at this and that time? Maybe something happened, maybe he/she is stuck at work. He/she did not call you in four days and he says he/she loves you, there is something fishy about it all. If I am in love with someone, I want to BE with the person, or know what is up with him/her. I show interest. How his/her day was. He/she did not call in four days, there is also an option that he/she might be kidnapped by aliens who try sexual experiments on him.

I have been through a lot of “relationship garbage” myself. From I think I can change him to I don’t mind if he is drunk every night to I will get a divorce, I promise, I heard it all. [If you read my blog, dear ex-boyfriends, you know what “category” you fall under ;)] I realized that all this game-playing, manipulating and drama leads to nothing – and if you really think about it, you know it, too. I have read the book The Rules by Ellen Fein which is just a bunch of garbage but I thought “this is how it all works” when I was 20 years-old. “You have to wait three days before you call him back; you never call him back after you had sex with him and if he does not call you back he is not interested and so much more.” Really? Where does it all get you? Sitting next to the phone, waiting for his/her message or phone call? Where does it all go from there? Is this the path you need to take? 

I might sound clever and like a wiseass but I have been through some let’s say “classic mistakes” even several times and I know what I am talking about here. Why do some of my friends make all these efforts to get someone to love them or get someone convinced that they are the one if the person does not want to be with them in the first place? You don’t need to change a person. You take the person as she/he is. This is the person you fall in love with initially. And if he wears a hoodie and jeans all the time, drinks and hangs out in bars all the time he won’t likely put on an Armani Suit and take you out to Carnegie Hall. First, You should ask yourself what it says about you if you want to change someone or convince someone to love you. Do you respect yourself? Do you love yourself? Then, would you buy this dog who bites you all the time? Would you continuously try to go out with a friend who cancels coffee-dates? Do you want to be with someone who promises you not to drink anymore because he knows he has a problem but he continues to drink? Then beats you up after an argument because he is drunk and all this while your child is in your arms? No, right? Common sense. If you want to be beaten up by him because you think it is awesome or he might change, then of course stay. But when a child is involved, you should think again I believe. 

“But maybe he changes?” Stop it and end all the headaches! All the wishing and hoping; again, you only have this one shot in life. Just end all the disappointments, hate and anger and move on if you don’t feel comfortable. There will be a way. There always is. Someone told me that she cannot see herself raising two kids on her own when she would leave her cheating husband so she rather stays and hopes that he will change and stops cheating on her. Become the rejector, not the rejected, my dear. Another person that crossed my path is with someone because nothing better was around. So she just kills some time until she finds Mr. Right. Good luck! Rather work on establishing some self-respect or self-love. Then you won’t be with people who drain your energy and make you feel bad. Seriously, it is that simple. If you know who you are and what you really want, you won’t fall into dumbass-traps. You won’t fall for guys who treat you really nicely and then just don’t call anymore because they are busy. Or the person goes to the toilet at the reception desk and not in the hotel room you both booked, to take a little hit of cocaine up the nose  because you might find out that he is a drug addict. Sweet guys who treat you really well and out of the blue stop doing so – alarm, there is something wrong. I learned that it is not the person that has to show me how cool they are; it is my job to look for something cool in the person. 

Lastly, the one more dating/relationship advice I can give is that whoever you are, woman, men, straight, gay, trans, whatever, it is all about self improvement. You cannot make anyone love you or stay with you through performances, tools, acceptances of crazy shit they did and you think they might change. They might sleep with you one more time; if that, or let you place your hand on his chest while they turn the other direction as soon as it gets too uncomfortable. The only thing you will win here is a tiny battle of long-term unhappiness. 

1. I love myself and listen to my body. If you are not enough for yourself you will never be enough for someone else. I live in the here and now. 
2. I am a Certified Holistic Nutritionist (CNP) and graduated from The Institute of Holistic Nutrition in Ottawa, Canada. 
3. I am very proud of my brother Thomas Weiss who has his own business. 
4. I was born and raised in Coburg/Germany. I always wanted to move somewhere else, somewhere bigger, somewhere nicer. So I moved to Würzburg, then Munich, New York City, and Ottawa/Canada. But deep inside I love the peace and quiet that a small town brings after having lived in so many big cities. So I bought a house in the countryside of Austria. I have the feeling I arrived and I do not want to move ever again. Now, I am the garden girl. 
5. My family in Germany means everything to me and comes first no matter what. 
6. I am a former German Federal Police Officer. 
7. I don’t mind getting older. I enjoy every second I am able to experience and learn something new on this planet.
8. I learned that life is too short to waste time being stuck in something that leads to nothing or just to a routine that you deep inside detest but just do for the money. 
9. I love to people-watch and observe. 
10. I love to put my hand into flour. But also into a bag of lentils. 
11. One of my favourite movies is Vie Heroique with Serge Gainsbourg. I watch it at least once a month. 
12. I live in Vienna and work for UNOV. 
13. I will never get married again or have another child. One is MORE than enough! 
14. Divorce is not the end of the world. Life goes on! 
15. I only have a handful of real friends. However, I do consider a lot of people my friends. 
16. I was in a Volleyball team, Handball team, Swimming team, and Karate team when I was a child. In 4th grade, I received an award for being the best athlete in the entire elementary school. The plaque still hangs on the wall in that school. 
17. This song makes me really happy. I can listen to this on repeat for hours. 
18. I love pasta in every variation.  
19. From the first time my son sat up on his own I had this feeling that I want to tackle him. Very strong kid! 
20. I am a huge fan of Eckart Tolle. I have a copy of his book “A New Earth” next to my bed. 
    
21. I love to read. A lot! 
22. One of my favourite ghost stories is The Turn of the Screw by Henry James.  Some of my favorite authors are Allen Ginsberg, Haruki Murakami, Ernest Hemingway, and Philip Roth. 
23. I love to sleep. 
24. Studying language was always the thing I wanted to do for a living but I ended up becoming a cop and resigned years later to study linguistics and languages. 
25. Writing is my passion. 
26. I do not drink alcohol or smoke. 
27. I lived in Ottawa/Canada for three years. 
28. I love being a woman but I think that men have it easier on so many levels. Pregnancy and birth are just two!
29. I have a bunch of tattoos and I don’t regret any of them. 
30. I had a bunch of piercings and took all of them out; except one. 
31. I love to make smoothies in the morning for breakfast. Easy, fast, healthy and so yummy. 
32. I love building things with my son. We both have a pretty awesome imagination.  
33. I adore Mischa Schenkel’s artwork. I think he has a lot of talent.
34. Current obsessions: minimalism. 
35. I don’t watch regular TV. I just have Netflix. 
36. Currently, my favourite places are: Coburg (Germany), Vienna, Italy, Hawaii, and Cancun 
37. I wouldn’t want to live without my son. 
38. How I stay sane: Spending time with myself, in nature, travelling, reading, photography, art, writing or doing nothing and just listening to my breath
39. The advice I can give: Be 100% sure and listen to your gut if you want to get married to this person! 
40. I have no clue about math or statistics. Like zero. My brother requested that I add this one!