.SOMETIMES RAW.

My son and I officially killed another venus fly trap. We fed it with flies, watered it but realized in the end that this is not the environment for it to grow at its best. While trying to edit my book I observed the plant; it looked sad and waited patiently for flies. I focused on it and thought about what we did wrong this time. My mind started wandering around. I am supposed to focus on my work and this book so it gets published any day now. It’s 2 pm. How is it already 2 pm? I glanced down at my empty coffee cup that sat next to the dying venus fly trap and contemplated whether it’s time for another cup. “I have to get all the editing done today”, I thought when the nutritional pathology assignment on Hashimoto’s disease that is also due in one week came to my mind.

I looked back at the screen, to the plant, and to my coffee cup. There is so much going on outside on the street, too. Why is the neighbor wearing only his underwear while watering his lawn? Why is this guy swimming naked in his pool while five baby raccoons are playing on my balcony?  I sit back at my desk and decide to focus. But shortly after I checked my emails because maybe I missed another enlightening and funny one that brightens my day. At least I barely check Facebook anymore because I find it annoying and tiring wondering why people post every single step of their life. Who the hell cares. Who the hell cares about “likes”. Nobody.

Then I sit back and decide to focus. I have a lot of work to do. Now is my time. I open the word documents I am working on and put on headphones. I never work with my headphones on but I want to give this a try. I am really feeling this song. B-b-b-bad to the bone. They are touring again soon. The last concert was awesome. Let me check this other great song they played at the concert. What an awesome night. Let me forward this song to my friend. He would definitely appreciate it. When they are touring again we are going. Def going! Okay, I will find a calmer song now to launch me into my super creative work mode. There it is. I love this song. Now I can focus. Like hard.

In the corner of my eye, I see my phone light up and it’s a text. Yay. I sort of know who it is from but also maybe someone could be in danger and needs my help. If they were, they would obviously send me a text over a phone call. In any case, I better check. Like now. Cute message from Mr. X so all is sweet. I smile and sent him a message back. And he sent me another message. And then I….

I work great under pressure and I easily fall under the distraction spell. I love what I do, especially when it involves writing but I am easily side-tracked and have a hard time finding my way back to focus on the task, especially if I know I still have a couple of days left before I have to hand in an assignment.

Does this all sound familiar to you? At The Institute of Holistic Nutrition, I learned some amazing tips to feel more focused, energized and not get too distracted. I will share the best ones with you.

Breathe.  I breathe in and breathe out deeply and let go of all the stuff that is stuck inside of myself. I usually put one hand on my heart and one on my belly and breathe quietly. I do this anywhere and anytime I have the feeling I really have to take care of myself. With this simple notion I  feel better and can give myself a feeling of safety and that I am here. Now.

The fastest way to focus is to simply give my brain a break. Whenever I think I keep hitting a block in what I am doing (for me especially when I am writing or coming up with a solution to a problem), chances are that my brain has too many tabs open. Then I am standing up, breathing deeply, walk around, go outside and basically visit an environment different than the one I am currently in. This gives me some space to re-sort things. I feel most creative and productive when I spent time with myself or when I sleep really well. Awareness is my friend. Once I become aware that I am distracted I am in a better position to do something about it. Whenever I get distracted I am taking a moment to analyze the before, during, and after.

I am a writer and always carry a journal or notebook and a pen(s) with me. Whenever I feel most distracted and I have deadlines creeping up, I create lists. I add the things that I want to accomplish by the end of the day. When I cross things off, I feel confident. One thing at a time. When I start something really important I choose to stick with it. It usually means that I have to be super hyper-aware and listen to my strict inner voice thoroughly. I can work best when there is complete silence. I cannot work productively with music playing or any other distraction.

Life is not easy but I don’t fear trying new things. The saddest summary of life contains three descriptions: could have, might have, and should have. Moving on and it feels so good.

Just focus.

I have written enough blog posts about heartbreak by now. It is time to move on and to leave the past behind. An interesting reader question to one of my last posts was, “How do you know when a relationship is right?”

The other day, my son and I took a walk at the Rideau River in the evening. He played with sticks and looked for ghosts while I just enjoyed the sound of the cicadas.  Shortly after,  I came across an “Ottawa moment” I will never forget. I spotted a couple having a candlelit picnic just at the river. They dined in grey lawn chairs pulled up to a fold-out camping table. As we passed them, they were just talking about the sunset and how awesome the food tasted. On the little fold-out table they had two glasses of wine, cheese, bread and a big salad. They smiled at my son and I so I introduced myself to Beth and Jason.

It was the most pleasant conversation. While my son played they asked me to join them for a glass of wine. Just like that. They told me that they have been watching the sunset every “nice and comfortable” night for over 28 years since they moved to Old Ottawa South.  After a certain amount of dates, they thought it would be great to bring some wine or beer. Neighbors asked them many times, “You guys are still going down to the river to watch the sunset?” Beth answered, “We have never stopped. This is our paradise.”

I asked them what their favorite supper conversation is and if they ever run out of things to discuss. Jane smiled and said, “We do not run out of things to discuss. The longer we are together, the more we have to talk about. We have more experiences, more friends in common, stories about people and plans for the future. We are planning our upcoming vacations and where we would love to travel to.” “Did anyone ever join you for your supper, ” I asked. Jason smiled this time and said, “Well, you just did. And so did many others. A musician came by here once. He brought his guitar and played some songs during our dinner. It was great. We shared out food with him.”

“Beth and Jason, how did you meet?”, I asked thinking that their marriage is so awesome. Jason told me that they initially met in Highschool, then did not see each other for a couple of years and met again in graduate school at Carleton University. He proposed marriage three months later. I asked Beth how she knew they were meant to be. She said that one night when she was feeling sick he walked through meters of snow (Damn, Canadian winter) to get her her favorite book from the Black Squirrel Bookstore to read her to sleep. He also made an awesome chicken broth that night.

“What’s the key to a good marriage?”, I asked. Apparently, I don’t know. Both answered pretty much at the same time saying that connecting again at the end of every single day, sitting down without distractions and talking is the most important thing. A connection is key and enjoying each others company as well as how to talk to each other and discussing, sharing and analyzing things. The advice they gave to me is that everything is easier when you are in a good mood, spend time together, have fun, be generous to another and apologize. They both added, that each partner is responsible for their own happiness because you cannot rely on your significant other to always entertain you.

They wanted to share their supper with my son and I but we decided to walk back home. While we packed sticks, water bottles, and ghost detectors, Jason took me aside and asked me, “You know what is also important?” I just stared at him and he continued, “This is for your brain on the way home:  In a relationship, it is important to laugh at each other’s jokes. Nobody has ever made me laugh as much as Beth. We are each other’s ideal audience. We had this ‘knowing’ feeling.  It wasn’t love at first sight but rather this strong feeling of ‘but of course this feels right in a good way’. I just had this feeling that this person is very important in my life. Then we became a team. We were initially just together but then we gradually solidified into a team. Then out of a sudden, we were in love. She made everything better. Being with her felt like being on vacation from real life. Disagreements did never threaten to end in a divorce. I always had the feeling we would keep going. We make plans. We keep it interesting. We do not spend too much time apart from each other.” He dropped a pebble in the water and made it dance, wiped his hands clean on his pants and smiled at me.

It has gotten dark by now. We packed our things to leave for good this time while their little candle shone brightly at the camping table.  Beth said “I could not imagine my life without him. It is all about choice. We choose to be together, nobody forces us. However, there are times when I am not entirely sure how things will evolve. We, like all couples, argue and fight at points and then there was/is doubt. Doubt is a part of life. But I believe in us, in our marriage because of the small things we do for another every day and what we have been through. We just have this energy together. He is the one.”

We said goodnight and left. There was so much positivity and thought on my mind while we walked home. I took a closer look at my life and the people who are in it and everything feels okay. Just the way it is. I am moving on.

…. but we won’t be far away. My son and I are moving and I am leaving this area with one happy and one sad eye. In this post, I want to highlight the places we/I enjoyed the most; just awesome places in Old Ottawa South Guide to hang out. 

I live in Old Ottawa South since September 2016 and it has been very exciting to watch it become a real foodie and cultural destination; this spring/summer, however, some other exciting things are happening for us a bit further away. 

Oat Couture

Oat Couture, located at Bank and Glen is amazing. Firstly, they serve awesome coffee and the two swings are a great way to keep children entertained while parents talk. Oat Couture serves and celebrates all things made of oats and sell bowls, shakes, granola, baked goods, coffee, tea, and other non-alcoholic drinks. I stopped there with my son once for breakfast; I had a coffee, and we enjoyed delicious bowls of oatmeal with blueberries and lemon curds. 

The Cameron & The Belmont

The man behind The Belmont on Bank Street, (a tiny 30 seat restaurant) is Adrian Vezina who has taken his creativity in a whole new direction. At The Belmont, I enjoyed the Baked Spaetzle and a Lomo’s Limousine Cocktail for supper recently which was awesome but also dug into a huge plate of Huevos Rancheros for Brunch on a Sunday morning. Adrian has taken his creativity in a whole new direction however when he partnered up with the Ottawa Tennis and Lawn Bowling Club to turn the club’s second floor into The Cameron. This is an awesome place to watch a tennis tournament, meet new people, hang out at Brewer Park & Playground after or enjoy the Kid’s Movie Night on Fridays. 

Korean Restaurant “Table Sodam”

This place is a hidden gem. It just opened in May 2018 but changed my world. I never had Korean food before and got inspired when I took a food preparation and cooking course toward my degree as a holistic nutritionist with Dr. Joël Villeneuve, ND. It did not take my taste buds long to adjust. Table Sodam is definitely not an average restaurant. Keep in mind that the seating area is pretty small and that they do not take reservations. First come, first serve. I have seen lines outside at 5 pm when they open for supper. Their traditional Bibimbap is to die for but so is (according to my son) their fried chicken. They have so much more on their menu, however that looks delicious, flavourful and made me want to come back for more soon. 

The Black Squirrel Bookstore (My all-time favorite!)

“The more that you read, the more things you will know. The more that you learn, the more places you’ll go.”
― Dr. Seuss, I Can Read With My Eyes Shut!

The bookstore specializes in academic non-fiction, in buying and selling used books of merit but there are many different genres available. You will find books on History, Art, Biographies, Fiction, Sociology, Children’s books, Manga’s, Psychology, Philosophy and so much more. 

I love the unique and cozy setup by only somewhat separating the books and the café area. Comfortable arm seat reading chairs located close to the entrance/window area let you take advantage of reading close to a bookshelf (to simply grab another book) and people watch while sipping a cup of latte. This simplicity yet the pretty array of decorations found throughout the bookstore make it feel like I am at home and just give this comfortable feeling to stay here forever and never leave. I wrote a blog post about The Black Squirrel here. Also, check out their website. 

Patty’s Pub

Patty’s Pub is simply great, fast and serves comfort food. I love the steak and fries. The fries are cooked to perfection and Monday Burger Nights offer a variety of creative burger toppings. Taking my son to an Irish pub was a first, but it worked out since we were there in the afternoon. They obviously have regulations for the evening when you cannot bring kids. 🙂 

Burrito Shack 

Great burritos, salads, fries, large portions and fresh ingredients. Open until 10.30 pm on Friday and Saturday and during the week until 9 pm. My son who is part of the testing and tasting added that “if you do not want the fries super spicy, you have to tell the man behind the counter because otherwise he puts the spices on and it will burn your mouth”. 

Vietnamese  Kitchen

Not my “go to place” for pho which is definitely Chinatown but The Vietnamese Kitchen is great. Whenever I am feeling under the weather, this place is just conveniently close. My son and I enjoyed their vegetarian Moo Shu Pancakes and of course their Pho. He is almost five years old and eats comfortably with chopsticks – lots of practice at pho restaurants I reckon. They also serve French Fries and a variety of rice dishes which was great because my picky-eater-son was addicted to this type of food. 

Life of Pie 

Life of Pie offers awesome coffee, pastries (chocolate cake!), and bread (their fresh baguette is to die for!). Their breakfast biscuit with egg and sausage is just what one needs for brunch after a Friday or Saturday night well spent! 🙂  They have a bunch of board games that entertain and occupy kids if needed so the parents can actually have a conversation. 

Stella Luna

Stella Luna is not just for gelato. On Monday through Thursday, you can enjoy small (complimentary) bites such as sandwiches and Quiche, with a purchase of a glass of wine (yay) between 5 pm and 7 pm (Pretty European). Stella Luna is famous for their homemade ice cream which is so good indeed. We tried almost all the flavors but rich, dark chocolate is our all-time favorite. 

House of Targ

We walked to this place randomly on a Saturday late afternoon on our way back home and did not want to leave ever again. We were amazed by 80-style Pinball and Perogies which brings back memories. House Of Targ is the place to hang out. It is a spot like no other, featuring live music, pinball. old school arcade games and a delicious menu including handmade perogies. They serve alcohol and host family parties. 

Mayfair Theater

The Mayfair Theater built in 1932 is one of Ottawa’s two last, oldest and surviving independent neighborhood cinemas. There are no advertisements or commercials before the movie starts which is amazing; they just show pictures of Old Ottawa South and how it looked in 1932, upcoming movies posters on-screen and no trailers. The Mayfair has the distinction of never having been owned by, or affiliated with, any of the major cinema chains which I love so much. I enjoyed the architectural features and the vintage touch that drew me into the world of imagination and memories when I was a teenager and used to go to this tiny movie theater in my hometown Coburg in Germany.