.SOMETIMES RAW.

Hello and Happy Tuesday!

You thought this would be a pregnancy announcement, right? Sorry, haha! I have to disappoint you here!  This won’t happen at this point, simply because I haven’t seen le husband in two months, I won’t cheat on him and after another tantrum-filled day I really had the urge to write about this whole idea of having another baby. For the longest time, I did not want to have any children. Ever! My life felt good the way it was. Studying, alone, traveling you name it. Then I met le husband and for the first time, the idea of getting pregnant did not instantly make me throw up. We talked about having a child pretty soon in our relationship and I was fine with it. It felt right but not so soon. First I wanted to live and enjoy life with him however. And we did. We did it all, believe me. It was fun. And at some point, something was missing. Not really missing per se, but a child would have made our life perfect – just being  this happy, little family. This all sounds so great and feels so good in theory. 

Now, since Petit Joel is in our life, I honestly had days where I consider leaving him at Småland at IKEA. Most days are fine (when he possibly tries to collect bonus points for days like today. Of course and obviously, I would not ever leave him at Småland – or would I? 🙂 [Have you ever shopped at IKEA and wondered why staff call parents to please pick up their kids at Småland and they keep calling but nothing happens? Those parents are long time gone. Spinning wheels at the parking lot and heading to the ocean-gone! And those kids then build your bookshelf LEKSVIK that you purchase at IKEA at some point. This is my opinion, I could be wrong!]

So some days I think that maybe, possibly, there could be a slight chance of having baby number 2; however, those moments are very “very” rare and far or almost completely erased from my mind on really hard parenting-tantrum days. When I listen to my heart, it says that it would be nice for Petit Joel to have a sibling. Like one more; but that is it. Then, I am thinking how much easier it all gets, now that he will turn three in October. He is diaper free for two weeks now, so this chapter is over (for now). He can talk and speak clearly and fluently in two languages. Things are getting easier and I love this age and stage he is at right now. Thinking about doing it all over again:  diapers, nursing, sleepless nights and crying makes me cough slightly, pour myself another glass of wine and get a good book from my bookshelf. 

Looking back at newborn and baby pictures when Petit Joel was just a couple of days old, gives me this warm, comfortable feeling. Those teeny tiny baby days and that I was able and fortunate to experience his first steps makes me appreciate my life and having had him with me all this time. Without daycare, nanny and whatnot. I am looking forward to what comes next. How four-year old Petit Joel will be? How he will look, how his vocabulary will grow and his mind. 

These days, I am excited about the move, about the University, about Petit Joel joining the Montessori Kindergarten and everything else new that is around the corner. A pregnancy would definitely not fit into all this; but will it ever? I know that there is never the right timing whenever it comes to planning for a baby because it is always something, right? School and studying, move, new environment, husband gone on mission, you name it. Let’s see what happens. It is all good, no matter how it turns out. Life is good. We are healthy, happy and so so fortunate the way everything is right here and now. 

Hello and Happy Saturday!

If you followed my blog for a while, you might have read that we move to Canada for a while shortly. There are still some admin issues with le husband, Munich attack stress and plane re-scheduling but we are certain that our trip will begin next week. I am not sad to spend a couple more days with my parents in beautiful Coburg. Once in Canada, I will use this break to study full time and enrolled to finally start a Master in Linguistic. It is also time for Petit Joel to join a Montessori Kindergarten in September. So, wow, tons of changes are around the corner. And of course a lot of planning, packing and arranging is involved. Whenever it comes to suitcase-packing I am a pro by now. I can pack my suitcase for a month+ in traveling in under one hour while being blindfolded. When it comes to my son who has his own suitcase now, it takes a bit of arranging and slightly more time. I will share some tips and tricks that work for me – like my personal suitcase 101 if you will. 

Mastering the Art of Packing took some time but over the years with tons of traveling experience I learned to pack a lot lighter and minimalistic which changed my life. I also have to say that I don’t own that much clothing and I could almost literally put everything I own in one suitcase. I downsized a lot and stick to the basics that work with everything. I will write about my minimalistic wardrobe soon to give you an idea how little I (everybody) actually need(s) as far as clothing goes. 

So whenever I go somewhere, there is this certain excitement attached to trip preparation. Cleaning out things again, rearranging and considering if I really need this item that I put in my suitcase. With my new suitcase and packing light, there is definitely no forcing to close the zipper around it. 

First I consider what the temperature will be like and if I need the extra pair of jeans, sweater and jacket. I plan ahead because it is important and makes the trip easier. I start with a list of things (I love to make lists for everything!) I want to take for myself and for Petit Joel. I literally write everything down weeks before and add stuff as we go along. This way I can plan if I need to purchase something last minute or wash some other things I would like to take. I plan what I want to wear. Usually, I take two outfits that look really nice (going out with le husband) and otherwise  I have my basics, tank tops, jeans, t-shirts, cardigans and whatnot. This way it is organized and I have the essentials I need on hand. The same goes for my son. He does not have too much clothing as well – he grows so fast and I am tired of buying new things all the time. I rather wash more often. [By the way and talking about washing clothes: Petit Joel is diaper-free during the day!!! I did it. It was not easy but I am very proud of him and myself for sticking it out. Post about how I did it soon!]

I try to figure out if the place I am staying at has a washing machine. This way, I can still take less or plan accordingly. Also, there is always a laundromat somewhere in case I need to wash or stores to buy something I need. 

I organize items that I want to pack by categories. I create piles of shirts, short pants, t-shirts and so on for myself and Petit Joel. If I go for a short one-week trip for example, I take half of every stack and put the rest back in the closet. Now, since we travel and stay away for a long time, I have to adjust. I also have to take some winter clothing because -40 degrees Celsius in Canada is kinda tough. Then again, not too much because I will finally get my Canada Goose Coat. and Petit Joel his. Yay! I don’t own too many pairs of shoes either, neither does my son. We will take a pair (or two) of sneakers, comfortable shoes (Toms), sandals and of course a pair of high heels just because; you never know. 

If I know what to bring it is time to pack. Le husband told me this trick of tightly rolling my clothing rather than folding because I can fit so much more into my suitcase. Of course I won’t roll everything but if done with care, there are almost no wrinkles. Le husband is a packing expert as well. Actually, better than I am. Then again, I am usually the one packing for two. (Petit Joel and I – like every mother I know) He also told me to place heavier items on the bottom and lighter ones on top. This makes it easier to roll and pull the suitcase around.

Maybe you find this useful. I wrote how to travel with a baby and how to travel with a toddler and tips and tricks I learned along the way if you would like to read. Enjoy and safe and happy travels. 

Hello and Happy Wednesday! 

My parents just went to bed and I spent the best evening outside with them; observing the moon, having a light dinner, talking, candles, wine, dark chocolate for dessert – perfection. I did not feel like writing tonight because for one, it would have been disturbing and distracting while talking, obviously. And honestly, I experienced some sort of writers block as well. Sometimes it is just awesome to sit outside and do nothing – enjoying the moment without interruptions and with all senses. 

However, the conversation turned from art, to Canada to friendship and remained there for a while and made me think about my friendships. I never had a ton of friends, not even when growing up. Some really good friends stayed in touch with me throughout all the years and are up to this day very close and dear to me. In my thirties now, I feel a lot closer to certain women and have friendships that mean a lot more to me. This feeling when you can tell your best friend everything in the world, the conversations are meaningful and have this certain type of depth that I love – these are women I love to hang out with. I don’t want to talk about babies and toddlers just because I have one, for example. There are a million other subjects that are more investing. Hah! My true friends know me. I was wondering why this certain closeness to some women I know develops and I was not sure. Then I read this article from New York Magazine and had an ahhhhh-moment. Just do some random stuff. 

“Twentysomething friendships involve long, late nights, all-day walks, and hours-long phone conversations. But having friends in your 30s is functionally impossible. There is no good time to see people, no friend equivalent of the candlelit dinner and rose-strewn canopy bed. To stay friends is to make do with the social equivalent of a taco truck and bathroom quickie. As the opposite of a sensualist, I actually prefer this. There’s something both efficient and exciting about having friends woven into the texture of daily life. It feels almost illicit when we manage to steal time together, like we are cheating on our grown-up lives….
What’s more, low expectations can be liberating. “When a friend comes to the grocery store with me because it’s what I have to do, the pressure to be fun evaporates,” says my friend Liesl. “Then we can just walk down the aisles and I can complain about the domestic shackles of having to make dinner and maybe get recipe ideas or maybe not, but somehow that kind of environment — purposeful, practical — allows me to be far more myself. And in that headspace — which is also key to feeling close to someone — the conversation organically weaves from the price of granola to something about my marriage to something I’ve read to petty gossip. And I feel way better after, especially since I got my groceries, too.”

I loved this article and I think it is so true. In my twenties, I usually scheduled dinners and whatnot with friends. Now in my thirties and with a toddler and well, more time constraints, I meet my friends in a more casual way. No more restaurants with kids for example. Things change, and it is all good. Talking a walk together to the playground is awesome, too. And while our kids play, we talk about the latest bestsellers that we read. Or what we plan for our future, study next, move to, explore. Her child just fell from the swing – is he bleeding? “Nope, so where were we?” “Yeah, this book was great.” I have to say that usually, even though our meetings are less ceremonies, they are still fantastic and uplifting. Random activities are special to me. I don’t like too much structure anymore. And most importantly, I love that some friendships last throughout it all. No matter what.