.SOMETIMES RAW.

Hello and Happy Monday!

Of course he wears his riding helmet like he would rule the streets in Brooklyn but this is where we came from a couple of months ago so he is allowed to put it this way. Plus, it gives him this certain type of coolness. We had a wonderful afternoon today with a friend of mine and her daughter at a horse range. Even though the weather here in Germany is a bit strange these days – rain/sunshine/thunderstorm/humidity/light rain/and back to crazy-ass-rain, but we still went to see these ponies as planned. Needless to say, my son had a blast. Initially, he was careful but after brushing the ponies and feeding them with apples he was good. Good and confident enough to take the leash and walk a bit with it. Then I put him on top. He looked at me like, “Seriously mom? Get me off this thing right now!” But after a couple of minutes he was fine and loved it.

There are just so many things I want to save forever. Special moments like these, that I want to preserve. I usually have at least my phone on me, if not the camera and the phone. And if these very special moments happen, I have this pictures that will remind me one day. Remind me, of this awesome day, this awesome trip and so much more. 

Being a minimalist, I don’t keep a bunch of stuff. Like ticket stubs and whatnot. I feel this is just cluttering up everything. I do have a ton of pictures and videos on my computer but this does not really count. As I move through these last couple of days here in Germany, I feel like I want to constantly place yellow post-its on everything to keep it in my memory. To keep it always and never forget how it feels. The other day I looked through old pictures my mom kept nicely stored in photo albums and I saw my sister and I’s doll houses we used to have. It was so sweet to see those and being reminded what a great time we had playing with those. We had so many dreams and a ton of baby stories, mommy and daddy stories and how we will build a nice house with someone and live happily ever after until my little brother took over our “fortresses” because he wanted to conquer. Sometimes I should have listened to him, that this might happen.  My view on having a family and children changed throughout the years and all I wanted was see the world, be a student forever and have no commitments really. [Destruction of the Fortress? Thank you my brother! hahah] Until I met my husband. Then things changed. 

A huge storm hit this area where we live. It was amazing to observe the horizon and how this blanket of grey and black clouds moved together and slowly but surely towards us. Of course I sat outside to listen to the thunder and watch the lightning. Somehow I got lost in my thinking and thought about how I got back to my parents place. All those turns in our roads that led me back home, back to my home base where all this amazing stuff happened when I was a child. There are just so many possible outcomes and things could all be so different. I am thinking about places I have been, this life I lived in New York, the choices we made becoming pregnant with my son. Simply, you do one thing – and there you are. A different road opened maybe. Different opportunities. Choose another option, there you go. Down another path. But this is my path I have chosen, right here where I am and right here where I should be at this point. I do believe in that. A little tiny turn in anything and things would have been different. Maybe there is a decisions-roadmap, maybe there is not. Who knows. 

So while I sat outside with thunder and lighting going full force I cried a tiny bit. I thought how grateful I am for my little life. How unimportant so much stuff is that I try to get my head around on a daily basis. This story we are living that is so awesome, those tiny moments that are actually pretty big. I gave birth to this little man who sat on a pony today and discovered horseback riding. All the things I want him to see, discover, feel and experience and hopefully he will. And thinking all this made me go to a little dark side of my brain. What, if I would die right now? Being struck by lightning or anything else. I would feel that all I have experienced until now was so beautiful that it would be all okay. It would be enough. I don’t want to die obviously because there is just so much more ahead to discover and a whole life to be lived and of course I cannot imagine my son being without me. Or le husband and everybody else.  I just think that if I don’t believe in anything after, I have a different outlook on life. This here, right now. And here I am. 

So I watched the rain how it cleansed everything off the street. People, thoughts; the way the water rushed over the pavements and streets, cleaned away dirt and the tiny cracks altogether. Then out of a sudden the rain stopped and left this awesome smell in the air. Have you ever took the time to smell this? Fresh rain smell? [Not the car-refresher!]  I thought about our kids room where my sister and I played with the doll houses and where my son sleeps peacefully now. I thought about the person I am now, the person I became. Whatever we become, one story folds into the next. One little version of us into another and nobody really knows when they first meet and see us. All they see is this first layer they face. All experiences and memories are hidden inside. 

I walked back inside and checked on my son. He was sleeping soundly and peacefully while the last bits of rain ran down the windows. Everything is okay. Mama and Daddy are together, the castle we are building is standing strong and tall and this little girl in the playroom with her dolls smiles at all this luck while she is inside of me, smiling too. 

Hello and Happy Friday! 

It rained the last couple of days here in Germany and I can understand why the death rate in Norway is so high. No sun for days – just grey sky, wet and rain. I started to write this post earlier and the power went off, followed by a plethora of thunder and crazy lightnings. The candle was my life saver, hah! I remember the last storm when I was alone with my son in Connecticut. What “saved us” initially was a tiny turtle on a key chain with a flash light in its mouth. He held onto this thing forever and that particular night when I read him his bedtime story, the power went off. Complete darkness. The street lights, other houses, pitch black. So together we walked back down in the kitchen to get some flashlights. Le husband always tells me that I have to be prepared for events like this. So I am – because he makes sense. That night we finished the bedtime story with a flashlight and it was so nice. Tonight I got myself all comfy after I called the neighbors to ask them if they have no power either. Got my book, the candles, a glass of wine and approximately five minutes (at the most!) later, the light went back on. Gotta love Germany. When it comes to stuff like that, things just work. Fast, reliable. In any case, I put my book to the side, leave the candle burning and of course continue with my glass of wine. Enjoy this weeks Five Things.

Reading: Le husband is back to work and travels so I was alone with my son this week. Tons of time to read at night and even during the day. My son is officially hooked and loves to sit next to me to “read” as well. So cute. I read Martin Walser’s Ein fliehendes Pferd and loved it. What an amazing book. It is a novella and read in a couple of hours but so enjoyable. I read his latest book and even went to the reading but was not too impressed but this little novella blew my mind. I re-read Sabbath’s Theater by Philip Roth and could read it again and again. [Thank you, Heinz for sending it so quickly!] I finished Joshua Becker’s More of Less: Finding the Life you Want under Everything you Own.  The book review will be out on Sunday. Stay tuned for that. Currently, I am reading Quiet: The Power of Introverts in a World that can’t stop talking by Susan Cain. Great so far. 

Watching: I re-watched one of my favorite movies Limitless. Have you seen it? It is so good. “I was blind, but now I see” – Eddie Morra

Discovering/Learning/Wanting to Mention:  If you like design and art check out the Coburg Design week. It started on May 31st and ends on Sunday, 5th of June. If you plan on going there with a child I would plan the visit in the morning; then it is nice and empty. The cocktail bar is outside under a roof so you won’t get wet. There is also food and great artwork to purchase.  If it might ever stop raining here in Germany, there are several places to lounge around and relax, too while sipping your red wine and looking at your new ring. 😉 

In the afternoon you could stop by at The British Corner in Coburg close to the Market Place. I have been there with my friend Lisa and we enjoyed cream tea, scones, clotted cream and marmalade. Also child-approved.

If you are looking for a family oriented café where you don’t have to constantly make sure your child is not throwing down dishes, cups and takes shelves apart, you should visit Café Babbel. I have been there with my son today. Review will follow soon! Great place with a fantastic outdoor play area that is gated so these little rascals stay inside while I am on my phone with free wifi access and drink a chai latte in peace. 

You need something new to read? Check out my friend Heinz’ online antiquarian online bookstore. Here is the link to his  Amazon website.  More than 18.000 books to chose from and very fast, reliable and efficient shipping.

You love tattoos as much as I do and are looking for a clean and professional place in Coburg to get your first or tenth tattoo? Visit my friend Melanie from Stick to your Skin Tattoo.  I love her work and got tattooed by her myself. Needless to say, I love my tattoo and think about a new one since I saw her the other day. She follows her passion. Review on her tattoo store next week! 

Looking forward to:  Watching The Art Bastard. Sounds fantastic! And this one: The Lobster with Colin Farrell. I am also looking forward to traveling to Canada, Cancun and touring the US on a big Grand Canyon tour. Yay! Life is good! I know, I am fortunate and damn lucky [while I knock on wood]

Thinking About: A lot. I met two of my extended family members again that I haven’t spoken to or seen in over seven years easily because of some “family issues”. I ran into Andreas a couple of weeks ago at the supermarket and they invited my son and I for coffee and cake. It was a great afternoon. Good talks, issues resolved. Moving forward and of course staying in touch. Life is too short. I did a lot this past week and talked to many friends about relationships. Read my latest article to get some insight. I thought for a while that it would be a nice thing to plan a class reunion. I have never had one and the idea of getting as many people as possible from my graduation class in 1998 together at a restaurant was what I planned. I found many – almost all of them! Most of them on Facebook, others through friends. The feedback I received was somewhat disturbing. Not even five were interested in a class reunion because they told me that they basically do not care about the other former classmates. Well, I tried. I still think it is a great idea to see what everybody is doing. 

What have you been up to? Have a great weekend. 

Hello and Happy Tuesday! 

This afternoon I spent some quality time with my dear friend “mon amie Sylvie”. We know each other from VHS French courses that we attended together. Great times and we stayed in touch all this time. She is so sweet and after she showed me her amazing house, garden and pool! we took a little walk with her dog to the local playground so Petit Joel could play around a bit. If you are from Coburg and have kids, you most likely know the playground just close to Seidmannsdorf. This is a great place for kids to run around all day and play their little heads off. I have been to this playground when I was a kid; however, a lot has changed – to the better. If you get a chance, do check out this place. We will be back for sure as well! 

So petit Joel was in awe most of the time, climbing on everything, going down the slides and back up. Nonstop. Needless to say, he is out cold and most likely dreams of all the amazing tunnels, slides and whatnot. As soon as we got there, he took his shoes and socks off. He sees me doing it all the time; I walk either barefoot or wear TOMS in summer. Since the playground was mostly sandy, it was no problem. He ran around all over the place and at night when I bathed him I found a tick on his leg. This was not his first one. He had had several, since we are in nature a lot and take advantage of the great outdoors. It did not freak me out. I have had many ticks myself and I am aware of the effects of Lyme and other diseases one might get from being bitten by one of these things firsthand with a former neighbor in the US. She had full-blown Lyme disease and it was horrible to watch how she lived, her hands all stiff and needed to take medication every day.

When I grew up, my mom used to tell my siblings and I every night to check each other for ticks once we took showers. When you know what and where to look for and take the necessary precautions it is all good. I remember even a time when I worked as a cop and we had to search for a knife (evidence) in the woods. When I returned home that night, I had 15 ticks all over my body. Even at spots were I certainly did not expect it. Damn you, horny ticks! Tick bites make a lot of people nervous but actually, it is not that scary. However, one tick I removed and the head was still stuck in my leg. I did not see it and got a pretty big infection after a couple of days. So bad that I needed to go and see a doctor to get a vaccination. I am fine. It happens. I never felt any muscle aches or pains, I never had a fever. Just a big rash around the area where the tick bit me. The key is to get treated in the early stages after the bite. “What am I going to do if I don’t know right away that I have been bitten by a tick?” Well, you will know. It will itch. You will scratch and when you look at it you will see that it is not a regular bug bite. 

When I play with my son in the grass, I usually make sure he wears socks or long pants. But this is of course not always happening. It is hot outside. He wears his short pants and sandals, or is barefoot. So at night I always inspect him closely. Check his head, his ears – especially inside his ears [the other day, he had a tick behind his ear that still crawled and I just happened to see it], legs and arms. And of course I throw all his clothes in the clothing bin every night to be washed. Sometimes, ticks stay on the pants for days. “Where do ticks hang out usually?” They love grass – especially long grass, woods, yards and leaves. When I go hiking or walk thought the woods I usually tuck my pant legs into my socks. There are some repellents and even vaccinations you can use precautionary but I have never done that. Neither has my son. 

So I found this tick on my son tonight. Usually, you are fine if you find the tick before it has been attached to you for at least 24 hours. I removed it with a small fine pair of tweezers because it has not even had the time to fully bite and suck blood. I made sure to totally crush and kill the tick after I removed it. Remove the tick slowly so you won’t leave part of the tick in there. Sometimes, if the tick is in a little deeper I use this:

With this card, the tick can easily be removed. If there is still a little part of the tick in your skin, observe the area and if there is any pain, swelling or redness see a doctor! After I removed the tick, I cleaned the area, applied  Arnica    Gel and put a little bandaid on the bite. Done! 

After the doctor gave me the vaccination he told met that after I have been bitten by a tick and it had been removed completely I still have to make sure I don’t develop any rashes, chills or fever, weakness, muscle pain, severe headaches or even confusion [My husband would say now that I most likely have been bitten by thousands of ticks as confused as I am sometimes!] Well, if you develop any of these symptoms you should definitely see a doctor ASAP. Most likely you will get some antibiotics. Most importantly, listen to your body. If there is something wrong or off, your body will tell you. 

SideNote: Cats and dogs get ticks as well and they do get a lot. I have seen some when my aunt removed them from their dog. They are huge. [and disgusting, yuk!] However, it is important that you remove them as soon as possible. The animals are just as susceptible to Lyme and other diseases as we are. I had two cats once and they had to wear their tick collars. I always made sure to brush their fur to see if they have any ticks. 

Do you have any remedies or insight on ticks? Do tell. I would love to hear from you.