.SOMETIMES RAW.

Hello and Happy Saturday!

This weekend was full of talks, tons of laughter, family, party, cocktails and awesome food. What I did not get too much of was sleep. Actually, almost no sleep for two nights and I do feel the consequences. Dark circles around my eyes and this overall moodiness that I always have if I don’t sleep at least severn hours in a row. I am most certainly not a morning person and don’t even try to talk to me if I did not sleep right. I know, it is bad but I am working on it. I always admire people who just jump out of bed in the morning; those optimistic and refreshed ones even after only three hours of sleep. My first thought is usually if and how I could stay longer in bed. I need a routine in the morning that keeps me going and also I have to go to bed at a decent time and not at 1 am or 2 am. 

I read about this app that is supposed to sense the sleep cycle but did not really help me. I realized that I cannot be a early bird and a night owl at the same time. Well, this is a work in progress and all I know is that I do need some sleep now. 

Have a Good Night. 

Hello and Happy Wednesday!

“Life is not a problem to be solved, it is a mystery to be lived” – Osho 

I remember the time when my son was born and baby blues hit me full force. I slowly needed to adapt to the new situation, needed some time for myself and time to reflect. When it had gotten really bad and I did not know what my name was anymore le Husband and I decided to go to our secret hideout in Canada to relax. “Relax” and get to know my little newborn son.  So we found that place where life goes down easy and time does not seem to exist. The clocks slow down, the lake is clear and the air is so easy to breathe. This place is not that easy to find — not even with GPS — but if you follow your instinct and keep driving down the road you will find those little houses, that are open, warm and a little light is on, waiting for you. [Send me an email and I will tell you where it is!]

This simplicity of everything and the quiet of the sky were the most beautiful thing. Usually, we got up very early and enjoyed the sunrise even though we had the lack of sleep that comes together with a newborn. It was a great experience and helped to slow our pace down a bit. And so did our son, hah! Whatever happens on a day-to-day basis or things that numb the senses and creative thoughts make me feel like I am in this wheel of insanity sometimes. The key for me is to look for my reset button now and then. Do you still know how to reset? Usually this ability to reset has been put away somewhere under layers and layers of daily life or work. Maybe sometimes all I need is a good conversation with someone, a nice fireplace, an awesome cheese+ wine dinner (and it will always go together no matter what!), a cup of tea,  great music, a warm bath or just a journal where I let my thought flow. I write whatever ignites me and lights up my heart. Everyone has to find their reset button — all you have to do is listen to yourself. Here are some more tips I would like to share. 

Stillness is very important to me. I told my mom earlier today that it is amazing how quiet this house is at night. I can actually hear the blood in my ears at points. When I sit down and close my eyes to meditate I breathe in deeply and love  how I feel physically and emotionally. Just listening to my breath makes me calmer. And I do practice this a lot when my son has his “5-minutes”. To eat healthy food . Healthy food makes me instantly feel better and gives me  new energy. Along with healthy food goes food shopping. Whenever I need to hit my reset button I try to focus mostly on plant-based food. Anything rich in color and as close as possible to its natural state is key here. Cooking. I love to cook. It makes me happy to try new recipes and even share the ones I love the most online. Cooking relaxes me and makes me feel calm and good. The preparing, the planning and the cooking itself alone or with someone is fantastic. 

I also hit my reset button through movement. Running around with my son all day long feels good and makes me feel like a kid again. I climb up on everything together with him on the playground, I chase him, play soccer or we just take a walk and discover. Whenever I spend time with him, I don’t analyze or think, I just am. The last thing I want to mention is books. If you followed my blog for some time you know I am a bookworm. I hit my reset button while reading books. It makes me learn something new, makes me feel good or even makes me forget about a stressful situation. 

How do you hit your reset button? I would love to hear from you. 

Hello and Happy Sunday!

“Now you’ve said it. The hopeless emptiness. Hell, plenty of people are on to the emptiness part; out where I used to work, on the Coast, that’s all we ever talked about. We’d sit around talking about emptiness all night. Nobody ever said ‘hopeless,’ though; that’s where we’d chicken out. Because maybe it does take a certain amount of guts to see the emptiness, but it takes a whole hell of a lot more to see the hopelessness. And I guess when you do see the hopelessness, that’s when there’s nothing to do but take off. If you can.”

I would like to share a book review of one of my favorite books. I don’t even know why I haven’t written it so far. It is a beautiful, eye-opening story that is also very thought-provoking. 

How does the perfect life look? Does the perfect life even exist? The story takes place in suburban America in the 50s. April and Frank met and fell in love almost instantly. They are both intelligent, beautiful and talented and the relationship moved at a very fast pace. Maybe too quickly. Not long after they first dated they decided to get married. Both wanted to have kids and dreamt of a big house in the suburbs with a white picket fence. The American Dream. April realized one day while she took out the garbage that this is not the life she wanted and visualized; that this just cannot be everything. She wants to move to Paris with Frank. They both agree to do something out of the ordinary. However, their plans changed. April became pregnant. 

I describe this book as very wise, yet tragic and a bit depressing considering that many out there might still have dreams out of the ordinary but are afraid to take the final steps simply because of this need of routine, security or comfort. How many are out there and frustrated on a daily basis but keep working at the same job for years upon years because eventually they will retire and then they plan doing all these awesome things. “As soon as…..!”  The author does not want to dissect the suburbs or the traditional family life. If people love this type of lifestyle, good for them. Yates focuses more on the fact that April and Frank are both painfully aware of their shallow surroundings and try to escape this routine. There both think that there must be something else to life than just taking the train to the city every morning, working from 9 to 5, coming home exhausted and sad to just do it all over again the next day. They want to change because they are unhappy and frustrated and feel the need to accomplish something else in their life. 

When I read the book a couple of years ago for the first time, I realized that many scenes were just so familiar to me. I have been stuck too at points.  Stuck in relationships, stuck in jobs that I did not like, you name it. This is why I loved the part when I found out how Frank got his job. A job and financial stability that seems oh! so! important. Well, it is but it is not everything. The reader will also find out about April’s disappointment and sadness while doing the housework to a perfection because this is all she has. Cooking, cleaning and tending the house – waiting for her husband to come home in the evening. And in the meantime  dreaming about Paris. 

My favorite scene. 

Yates holds a mirror up to society and just tells a lot of truth. This kind of truth that makes people uncomfortable and embarrassed. After reading Revolutionary Road I started to ask myself some questions and realized what is important in my life. For this alone I think it was an excellent read. What gets people through life? What are their morals or justifications? Are April and Frank betraying each other? Or their own selves? 

You can purchase the book here. Also, see the trailer of the movie if you would like. 

Have you read the book or seen the movie? How did you like it? Have a great week.