.SOMETIMES RAW.

Hello and Happy Monday!

We spent the entire afternoon in the woods collecting wild garlic (bear leak, ramson) and dandelion for more syrup.  The wild garlic is awesome for pesto when used fresh with (homemade) pasta or just frozen to add to any dish. It is really yummy with potatoes, mixed together with spinach in a lasagna and a variety of other recipes. I use it even in soups. The best! There is this wild garlic-hype in Germany and many collect it themselves. It is also possible to purchase it in stores but why not collect it yourself and spend some quality time in nature? So we headed to our secret wild garlic spot not too far away from my parent’s house. It is so calm and beautiful there and the wild garlic leaves are the best when collected close to the water. This way we did not even have to wash them before cutting them up and putting them into bags for the freezer. This is how those leaves look. [If you are not 100% sure if you found the right leaves, don’t collect them. The poisonous lily-of-the-valley leaves (Maiglöckchen) look very similar!]

So after I collected way more than initially planned,  I sat close to the water on a tree trunk and observed my son who played in the water. He tried to “catch a fish” with a stick, balanced on some rocks and threw tiny pebbles in the water. “I have it all,” I think.

I know that most people are only comfortable if they have a certain amount of money, love, health or the best job and this one particular promotion they wait for. “If something does not work out the way I want it, there are always ways to improve those circumstances.” [Jean Henry] Sometimes I do feel weird or uncomfortable if things are too good in way. Do you know this feeling? Like this is all too good to be true? I even sometimes  think negative thoughts to pull me down even though I should be all content and happy. Maybe it is the fear of disappointment or loss that pops in my head – like I want to hold on to this particular moment forever but I know this is not possible or that this special moment is simply only temporary. Sometimes I look for something that ruins it all, or search for teeny tiny flaws. I am practicing Reiki for quite some time now. I meditate, I even read spiritual books; however, I still have those thoughts occasionally. 

I have to be more resistant to weird feeling and appreciate the happiness here and now. And if things don’t go my way, it is not the end of the world. I am usually pretty good at all this, but then there is this one day, that let’s my little house crumble and shakes the walls up pretty hard. I don’t want to be too attached to anything because if it is gone I am sad. Enjoyment leads to happiness, obviously. I watch my son playing and I feel good. And the next moment I might think, “Oh damn, but we have to leave Germany and move somewhere else. We won’t live here forever and all this does not continue. And I will miss my parents and family”! Attachment most certainly does not lead to happiness, I know this but don’t apply it all the time. Attachment usually means for me emotions, clinginess, sadness – or plain fear. 

There was a great documentary on TV a couple of days ago about bees and the way they collect pollen. They fly around to find flower heads. They fly and fly and if they don’t find any flowers they just return to their hive to do something else in the meantime. Or they fly to a different area. Simple as that. No disappointment, no agony or buzzing around about some missed opportunities. [No pun intended] They instinctively know that another opportunity will come along their way and they will find another flower head. And they do everything gracefully and with patience – getting the most out of the here and now. [Well, I am not a bee charmer and I don’t know for certain what might go on in their little brains but this is how it seems to me.]

I work on appreciating the moment and not ruin it by over-thinking and analyzing everything. I notice the positive and don’t search for the negative – sometimes better, sometimes worse. When certain thoughts pop up I tell myself to just let it float by, acknowledging it but letting it go. Again, this does not happen all the time and I am working on it. Nobody is perfect. I then bring my attention back to the here and now and tell myself that other great things are ahead of me, new challenges, new adventures. I just stay open-hearted and work on being non-attached.  I find it helpful to focus on breathing in those situations. It is all a work in progress and quite a rocky path. 

When I am looking back over my life I notice how things usually just float through, arrive and then leave. They then make way for new exciting things. Isn’t it amazing how everything  just comes and goes and somehow makes room for new paths? I guess it is easier to rely on the flow of life than on one particular thing because this flow just never stops. Maybe it never will. Who knows. Sometimes it works, sometimes it does not. Good days come and go, luck comes and goes but I have to listen more closely to the lessons and finally wake up. 

Hello and Happy Friday!

I am thankful for great friends. I don’t have too many which is fine; but the ones I do have I love to spend time with. These are friends I can learn something from, the ones who inspire me, the ones who listen to what I have to say, the ones I can be the way I am without putting on a mask and the ones I love to listen to. Friendships shift as we develop but the real friends stay no matter what. With real friends conversations don’t need to have depth all the time but I want to be able to talk about something serious as points.  To laugh together and being silly without alcohol is a good thing, too. Or with alcohol. Or with coffee. I also keep in mind that with time and life changes my friendships have changed and become more redefined. I needed to disconnect from some people and reconnect with others. This is how life goes. And it is all okay. I just want to say Thank you to my friends out there without writing out names! The ones I am talking about here know! This is what I have been up to during the week if you would love to read. Have a great weekend! 

Reading:  I finished The Heart is a Lonely Hunter by Carson McCullers. What an amazing book. Book review will follow. Highly recommended! Currently I am reading Jed McKenna’s Spiritual Enlightenment, Part One. This is not an easy read and it takes time to really grasp all of it. I highlight a lot and even copied a bunch of paragraphs so far and wrote them in my journal. Thought-provoking! 

Watching: This! 

“What is it that makes us human? Is it that we love, that we fight ? That we laugh ? Cry ? Our curiosity ? The quest for discovery ? Driven by these questions, filmmaker and artist Yann Arthus-Bertrand spent three years collecting real-life stories from 2,000 women and men in 60 countries. Working with a dedicated team of translators, journalists and cameramen, Yann captures deeply personal and emotional accounts of topics that unite us all; struggles with poverty, war, homophobia, and the future of our planet mixed with moments of love and happiness.”

Also, I found the movie to The Heart is a Lonely Hunter. It is fantastic and …. lonely!  

Enjoying: Sushi at this place! And of course great conversations with Ronia, my husband’s messages, my son, my parents, Ronia die Räubertochter, Fame Cocktailbar in Coburg [Try the Strawberry Daiquiri!!!] 

Discovering/Learning: 

Once you realize that the road is the goal and that you are always on the road,
not to reach a goal, but to enjoy its beauty and wisdom,
life ceases to be a task and becomes natural and simple,
in itself an ecstasy.

Too lazy to be ambitious, I let the world take care of itself. Ten days worth of rice in my bag; a bundle of twigs by the fireplace. Why chatter about delusion and enlightenment? Listening to the night rain on my roof, I sit comfortably, with both legs stretched out.

Looking forward to: Traveling soon! I cannot wait. The world is so awesome. I need ocean and sun! There is so much to discover and see. Now is the time. Or maybe it is all just a dream. 

What have you been up to? What are your plans for the weekend? 

Hello and Happy Tuesday! 

I would share a couple of things today. Things that make me healthier and happier these days. Maybe some work for you as well. 

I stopped drinking coffee and switched over to tea or smoothies. Every time I drank coffee I was so wired up, especially when it was too strong. I was never dependent on coffee and never thought it gives me energy in the morning. I feel that practicing Yoga or stretching works way better. Or drinking a green smoothie makes me feel more balanced.  Balance makes me happy! I included Yoga in my daily routine again. I do get up earlier in the morning to  really take time for myself, stretch, and enjoy 50 minutes of Power Yoga. I haven’t practiced in a while but I was right back into it. To start my day with Yoga is fantastic. The whole concept of taking time to do something with and for myself is key. Just listening to what my body needs and these days it is stretching. 

I try to read one book per week and attend a reading once in a while. Actually, I just came back home after listening to Martin Walser who read from his latest book Ein sterbender Mann. It was very special and mesmerizing. Martin Walser is 89 years old. 

My strive for constant, continuous  learning and exchanging thoughts with intellectual people will always make me happy. “Ordinary people seek entertainment. Extraordinary people seek education and learning”. I write a post online on my blog every single day. Just because I love to do it. I keep notebooks and journals close by so anytime an important thought pops up in my head I can write it down. With this being said, I have a bucket list and so does my husband. Upon comparing those lists one day we amazingly found out that there are pretty similar items written down. Sweet! So we both enjoy scratching those off our lists. Eating healthier. I usually don’t eat meat but I had this craving for ham and BBQ. So I ate ham and we had some BBQ leftover from the neighbors. I felt very bad for the next three days. Today is actually the first day that the stomach pain stopped. I have to listen to my body more and pay more attention.  He usually tells me what he wants and tries to avoid. Meat and refined sugar are two items. I want to include a Fast-Day every week. Today I just ate a bowl of soup and a pretzel. Just to give the organs some rest after those horrible three days. 

Spend more quality and uninterrupted time with my son. Meaning, not being on the phone while he shows me something. Not reading my book when he wants to go to the playground. Unless of course we read together. My sweet boy! 

I like helping others! Helper syndrome? Well, I have it under control by now. I am talking about the random kindness. Doing grocery shopping for the elderly woman next door or bringing her a slice of rhubarb cake for instance. Since I go to bed earlier (7 hours sleep minimum) I feel so much better in the morning. More rested, more positive thoughts, more ideas, more creativity and I get more done. I am fortunate still that my son sleeps until 11 am! almost every day and I could sleep in if I needed to. But I do not want to make this a habit. Rise and shine! It is spring and I love spring cleaning and removing anything and everything that is not essential to my life anymore. Yep, I usually start with my closet. I am into minimalism and too many things make me unhappy. 

I try to relax every day for at least one hour. The other day I was in the park with my son and I took a pile of books with me. I read a bit, switched to the next and turned pages in the third one until I saw this little tiny bee sitting in front of my bare feet on a dandelion. I put the books down and observed the bee instead. She kept on doing her work not bothered by anybody or anything. Just getting some pollen. Life is sweet! I spend less time on the phone or other social media and I don’t check my phone first thing in the morning anymore. I used to! But it makes me happier if I don’t. First things first! Yoga, healthy breakfast – the world (Facebook, Twitter, Pinterest, Instagram, CNN and whatnot can wait!) 

What makes you happy? I would love to hear from you.