No rockets but PoP Fizz, yeah!
I really loved 2016. It was amazing and loaded with changes – good and bad ones, sad, painful, inspiring, loving, stressing and relaxing. I turned 35, moved to Canada, started a Master in Linguistics, discovered Ottawa, found new amazing friends I can always count on, experienced two Canadian hospitals and so much more. It was definitely a year of transformation, even a bit life-changing. Events that physically and emotionally pushed me to new limits. It was a growing year for sure and sometimes, with growth comes pain. One thing that will never change is this oh so familiar bittersweet sadness when leaving Germany again. Whenever there is sunshine, rain or rough times are usually around the corner. This is life. It challenges us, makes us fall and stand back up to do it all over again. I stumbled, I made mistakes, I learned by figuring everything else out along the way.
We took a long traditional New Year’s walk in the freezing cold this afternoon, which was amazing. The fresh air, my family, good conversations while we could see our breath when speaking. There are only a couple of hours left of 2016 and here I sit, close to the fire place, typing this while Petit Joel and my brother are dancing in the living room. My parents preparing dinner (Raclette) in the kitchen; life is good. Looking back at the last two weeks I realize that they flew by in a heartbeat and I am so, so grateful. I want to thank the universe for all the hard stuff I had to deal with. Whatever bad happened, I was always able to find myself again, even though the roads were very dark or lonely sometimes. I could go on with this list but what I really want to do is to look to the future instead of pondering about the past. Past is the past, after all. I believe in new starts and fresh beginnings. My mom would agree here that when I was a child, my favorite thing to do was to start new folders, binders or journals, especially for school and at home when writing. Everything had to be nicely organized, highlighted and labeled and I do it to this day. For some reason it gives me a great feeling, like writing in a new journal with a new pen. Weird? Maybe. A new book, a new day, a new year, a new moleskin notebook and all that good stuff, you know?!
It is the same with the new year for me with or without resolutions because honestly, those never worked for me. I tried to quit smoking once on a December 31st, start to work out three times a week at the gym or be a vegan for good. I realized pretty quickly that I fell back in my old habits sooner or later. I know myself and achieve things not because of a New Year’s “to-do-list-resolution”. For me, a new year is like a blank, clean slate, like a new folder, a new chapter.
So what is next? What I planned for 2017?
I don’t ask for much. I want to be present in the moment, be healthy, focus on my studies and career and be fully here to do everything in the best way possible. I will enjoy my family and friends more and start my Master thesis and do well. The next semester starts the following week and I will do it with a clear, open mind; especially the statistics class. One step at a time, little pieces, nothing huge. Another goal is to just simplify my life more and remove stress. I will reevaluate more on things I thought I need that turned out to be so useless.
So, leaving the old year behind and starting something new, nice and fresh is awesome, with our without New Year’s resolutions.
I am thankful for my family, for my parents and siblings, grandparents, uncle, aunt cousins, nephews, friends and this growing community of Sometimes Raw readers. I wish all of you a Happy New Year and hope 2017 brings everything you want and hope for.
