Hello and Happy Tuesday!
My mom, my son and I took a long walk around a lake today. The sun was shining and in the air was the beautiful springy feeling that we all looked forward to for a long time. Being in nature, especially walking through woods makes me happy. This is a place where I am the most content. It is peaceful, I have time to think happy thoughts and just be. Actually, while walking outside most of my blog ideas are being created.
My mind has been somewhat busy this morning after I read the news. I do read the local newspaper daily just to have a greater picture on what is going on in the world. Usually, I feel miserable reading anything about politics and whatnot. This morning I read that German singer Roger Cicero passed away last Thursday due to some type of apoplexy or stroke. Just like that. He just gave an interview two days ago and explained that he is looking forward to his tour in April. I don’t know too many songs by him but what struck me was this realization that my life could be over in one second. Any second. Any day. I tend to forget sometimes and take my life for granted. I think it is very important to keep in mind that we only have this one shot and have to make the best out of it while we still can. It can be over so quickly. While I thought about all this in the morning my grandma came over to talk a bit while she was on her way back home from this little gym she joined. Not a gym-gym. Just movement therapy for the elderly but c’mon; she is 81 years old! I looked at her and thought that it is amazing that she is still here and walks and thinks clearly. So we chatted and had a cup of coffee and she left. Sweet, I thought. Life is sweet.
While we drove to the lake this afternoon my mom put her hand on my leg and said, “I am glad you are here.” I loved this so much. When we walked we were quiet for a bit. Just walking and breathing in air, listening to birds while my son threw stones in the water and waiting for a train to come by. For some reason I remembered how she sometimes got ready to go out when I was a child. This did not happen too often, but sometimes. Her clothes, her perfume (forever Issey Miyake) and her old leather purse. I thought about how she smiled at my siblings and I before she left, with her blond hair and these laughing eyes. The thing about my mom that I admire is that she always did her own thing in a way. Sometimes in this quiet way but she was doing it while always being there for us. Today I realized again how lucky my siblings and I were to have my mom just the way she was. Of course not every day was happy-sunshine, but most of them. My siblings and I of course disappointed my parents, did crazy stuff, smoked and whatnot. But in the end, they were always 100% behind us and did so much more. Today in the car my mom even remembered kid’s songs because my son wanted to hear one. I write this a lot but it is true – it is the little things that count! The normal everyday things that remind me so much of my childhood and how I grew up.
Now I have a son of my own and I do understand even better how much hard work my parents must have put in throughout the years. A childhood that my siblings and I can look back at any time and say without a doubt that we had the best childhood possible. Looking and listening to my mom now, I do understand why she made certain choices in life. When I was a teenager I thought I would never ever be like my mom (or dad) but now, looking back, they were not that bad after all. I share so many good qualities with mom – qualities I am proud of and I have a plethora of memories of any kind with my parents.
We have actually been at the same lake when my son turned one-year old. We celebrated his birthday right there on a park bench, bird watching and eating chocolate muffins. Perfection!
While we walked back to the car we observed an awesome sunset, it became a bit chilly and a couple passed us. I was just about to say something about them when I looked at my mom and she said nothing; she just played with my son. I realized then and there that I do not need to judge anybody because who am I to judge. I have enough to learn and improve within myself. Someone walks by and does not look the way I want him to look? Well, I am not walking in his shoes, right? They live their own life. Who knows what the person is going through. Again, who am I to judge!
By the time we made it back to the car I realized that my life is perfect the way it is. And if it would be all over, I would be fine with it. No regrets – nothing, just peace.
