How to: Stay Calm or At Least Trying To.

Hello and Happy Wednesday! 

Currently the posts that have the most clicks or likes are those I wrote after losing my mind and revealed how it really looked inside of me. Another thing I will reveal, hah! You see my ear lobe and the hole? At one point in my life I thought it would be awesome to have tunnels and I bought the coolest plugs ever! And when I reached 14mm I did not like it anymore and took them out. This is what it looks like after! Just FYI if you ever think about doing it. 

So how do I try to stay calm? Well, in stressful situations it is almost killing me. Last night I tried to update my theme on this website. It took several attempts to purchase this theme and for some reason my credit cards did not work. Finally my husband had to help me which got me a bit upset already. WHAT is WRONG with my credit card? Typically, I let things like this slide but yesterday it somehow morphed into something else and slowly but surely I was almost ready to throw this computer out of the window. I tried to download a ZIP file and then upload it as my new theme and it simply did not work and I got more and more upset. Computer problems like this  get me super mad and anxious. I just want this to work in a way without being so complicated. My husband sat next to me on his computer so I tried to fake my aggression by becoming too quiet but inside I felt like a nuclear meltdown is taking place. So this feeling came and went – off and on up to the point where my husband who observed me for a while through the corner of his eyes asked me something irrelevant about a person we spoke about earlier. Then I lost it. I screamed and yelled, all red in the face about this stupid- computer- theme -update problem. My husband knows me too well. Grrr. 

Initially, he looked at me rather perplexed and then took the computer and told me that screaming at this thing does not help. Also, that I waste my energy being angry instead of searching for solutions. Needless to say, with his attitude we were able to at least upload the ZIP file. [Damn you zip!]

I am not an angry person and actually pretty easy-going, mostly positive and if life gives me lemons I ask for salt and tequila. I am not a fan of negativity and I try to avoid drama in my life. But then there are these other moments when I think about something over and over trying to find solutions obsessively until I get myself physically and mentally sick. And 99% of the time I am upset about minor, dumb things that are, in hindsight, actually no big deal at all. Times like last evening are just so weird and it feels that I am totally and completely out of control. Whenever this happens and I am alone I am almost unable to bring myself out of it. Thinking about how lucky I am in life to be healthy, to have a healthy loving family and so many good days rather than bad ones does help sometimes! I don’t think I have an anger-problem or need to “see” someone to make me feel better while taking medication or with talks on a couch. I am luckily far from that, hah! 

Breathing deeply helps, stopping whatever I am doing and stepping away from it helps. Talking to my husband helps always because he makes sense. Talking to my parents helps. And of course talking to my friends at SEHES. I acknowledge these feelings which is already better than ignoring them. It is important for me to snap out of these thoughts or situations and move on. I choose to be happy or sad in a way but sometimes my little tricks to cheer myself up don’t quite work so well which makes me a human. Every day and situation is different. 

As you might have noticed by now, the website theme did not change. I gave up after trying to install it for two hours. I realized that some things are meant to be done by the pros. When the time feels right, I will hire someone to help me with this blog. Simple as that and as I needed help with my math and statistic homework in College. And guess what, it is okay not to be perfect in every little aspect in life. With these thoughts I finally went to bed last night, way later than I intended. I enjoyed the silence for a bit. Enjoyed how quiet and calm the house was while everybody slept. I read a couple of pages in my new book before switching off the light and falling asleep. My sleep was comfortable,  deep, peaceful and quiet. My new website theme far in the distance. I dreamed nothing. 

Do you suffer from anxiety or depression? How do you deal with “tough” situations? I would love to hear from you  and try new tips and tricks. I hope you had a wonderful day/afternoon/evening wherever you are.