Hello and Happy Thursday.
My sister and I are sitting in this little café on her birthday, celebrating with Campari and Soda eating Flammkuchen. It is lunchtime, the sun is shining, our drinks are close to the window and are shining and glowing like lamplights through the sun. I feel like crying. Nobody notices. But I am really crying on the inside, this kind of cry of lifetime procedure. I am crying for the past 31 years we have known, loved and battled each other. For now, I have been talking about it all for myself. All the painful and tricky parts. The things you try to avoid because it is just deep and it hurts. We try to connect and struggle but we do have this desire to understand and hold some space for the difference.
There is a tightness between us sometimes and I know I love her but I am not able to tell her the way I would like to. Life is made for moment like that. And when I really think about it, it is two women sharing the same mother and father, the same brother, and the same history and yet after all, memories are different. Between us is just a contrast which gives shape to the truth of our hearts. We had some shared memories. Some tough times. We have been though it. This tough love or hard truth. However, ultimately you are just full of love. I understand the color of your pain and the way of your journey and the brightness of your joy. You are my sister and we are so alike. At the same time we are so different but together can celebrate everything we accomplished.
How did this post come about? Really because we spent a day together at your parent’s in laws’ and I really got to see you. Got to know you again after a long time. We talked, exchanged thoughts, sat next to each other and enjoyed the moment. The BBQ, the conversations, our kids playing together for hours. It was all an adventure. For all of us.
What I would like to tell you is first of all that you are beautiful the way you are and that you can achieve anything you want in life. No matter what. You can take a trip. Go somewhere. Discover something new alone or together as a family. Have a jet-leg when you get somewhere and pack not enough and then buy the things you need at a local supermarket. Get lost and argue with your husband and end up stopping at a restaurant and enjoy the best pizza and red wine you have ever had. Then, order a Campari Soda and watch the people walking by. Cheers to life. Cheers to who walks by next.
Be open to discover something new and leave old pattern behind. Diana, you are my little sister but you have grown. You are such a beautiful amazing woman. You stand very tall, even though you are shorter than me. You hold so much strength and it is amazing how you take care of two children and keep your sanity. I am proud of you. Proud how you manage it all. I am proud to be your sister. This courage you have inspires me. To just keep moving forward and just keep going. I hope I inspire you as you inspire me. Maybe we can inspire each other. I want to see you. Not only physically. I want that we see each other. I would love that we are a mirror for how beautiful we both are. We are sisters. How wonderful is it to call you MY sister. I love you. Forever.
