A Guide on How to Stay Unhappy.

“Any old fool can find something to moan about, but it takes skill and effort to see the good in life. Being happy requires strength and intelligence.” – Gala Darling

What does our true deep self long for? Is it our awareness and somehow the acknowledgment for existence or our attention? Personally, I believe, self-love sounds good, doesn’t it? But what does it all mean? Don’t we all strive to be happy and be the best version of our self? And how can we achieve this? 

Many people think that they need to buy certain things or even look a certain way to be happy. I reckon, whenever it comes to true self-love we have to dig a little deeper. The more time I spend by myself and pay attention the clearer the picture gets. 

I have spoken to a bunch of friends in the last couple of days and I realized that some of them are very unhappy with their life, circumstances and choices they made. I read excerpts of this little book that my mom gave me the other day and combined this knowledge with some notes I jotted down after conversations with people. Here is the translated list from the book to be truly unhappy:

1. Always expect that others make you happy
2. Always blame others for your misfortune
3. Always say, “coulda, would, shoulda”, whenever the topic is time, money or friends
4. Always compare what you have with what others have
5. Always be serious
6. Try to please everyone always
7. Don’t ever say, “No”! 
8. Always help others, but never let them help you
9. Always consider your own needs as unimportant
10. Whenever someone makes you a compliment, always play it down
11. Whenever someone criticizes you, blow it up to a ridiculous fight and argue
12. Always make sure you keep all your feelings and worries to yourself
13. Don’t ever change the way you are or your life
14. Don’t ever be satisfied with anything other than perfection 
15. Always spend all your time either in the past or in the future

It is always easier to be unhappy because misery is simple. I sometimes  allow my ego to focus on the negative and from there it goes all down. Meltdown. Even if someone says something and doesn’t even mean it in a negative way, I assume he/she attacks me in some way or another. The only thing that matters is my perspective on those things when I then decide if something is good or bad. Negativity or Optimism is a clear choice. So I just stop making excuses and start seeing things differently, even though when times are rough. 

Here is a also list of some amazing quotes I enjoy. Maybe you do, too. 

“Do stuff. Be clenched, curious. Not waiting for inspiration’s shove or society’s kiss on your forehead. Pay attention. It’s all about paying attention. Attention is vitality. It connects you with others. It makes you eager. Stay eager.”
—Susan Sontag

“I began to understand that all of life is practice: writing, driving, hiking, brushing teeth, packing lunch boxes, making beds, cooking dinner, making love, walking dogs, even sleeping. We are always practicing. Only practicing.”
—Dani Shapiro

“If you are gracious, you have won the game.”
—Stevie Nicks

“It’s interesting how we often can’t see the ways in which we are being strong — like, you can’t be aware of what you’re doing that’s tough and brave at the time that you’re doing it because if you knew that it was brave, then you’d be scared.”
—Lena Dunham

“To me it is really important to live in what I call the spaces in-between. Bus stations, trains, taxis or waiting rooms in airports are the best places because you are open to destiny, you are open to everything and anything can happen.”
—Marina Abramović

“I cured myself of shyness when it finally occurred to me that people didn’t think about me half as much as I gave them credit for. The truth was, nobody gave a damn. Like most teenagers, I was far too self-centered. When I stopped being prisoner to what I worried was others’ opinions of me, I became more confident and free.”
—Lucille Ball

“The most important relationship in your life is the one you have with yourself. Because no matter what happens, you will always be with yourself.”
—Diane von Furstenberg

“There is always something to do. There are hungry people to feed, naked people to clothe, sick people to comfort and make well. And while I don’t expect you to save the world I do think it’s not asking too much for you to love those with whom you sleep, share the happiness of those whom you call friend, engage those among you who are visionary and remove from your life those who offer you depression, despair and disrespect.”
—Nikki Giovanni

“Think of yourself like a captain, and you’ve got this little boat. And sometimes the weather’s good, and you’re just sailing, and sometimes big storms hit, and you know, you’re in a stormy sea, but just ride it out, ride it out. Because it’s good to be alive.”
—Patti Smith

“Once we give up searching for approval, we often find it easier to earn respect.”
—Gloria Steinem

“People think you have to know what you want to do with your life by the time you’re 19. Wrong! Or that you have to be in a significant relationship in your twenties. Wrong! It’s all just nonsense.”
—Tilda Swinton

“You must not quote to me what I once said. I am wiser now.”
—Romy Schneider