Hello Lovely,
Good morning. I am always with you and yet we seem to have lost touch. I understand that there are always things to do, places to go, opportunities to seize, dreams to realize and fires to fight but it is almost as if you have been avoiding me. Did we grow apart? I thought we were pretty close.
From distance, you seemed happy earlier this year and reminded me of a younger Daniela, one surer of herself and her place in the world. Is this true? Now, what happened? You bought a house. Wow! You love it, do you? So much nature. So much beauty. But are you really happy or have you just occupied yourself with urgency to avoid dealing with what is important? I ask because I care about you. I am not a stranger to you, Daniela but recent actions have made me feel like one. You are both wise and jaded enough to know the difference between acts of self-love and distractions offering temporary happiness. And yet you have consistently fallen into the trappings of comfort. When we last met, you had sparkling eyes, ambition, and unflinching clarity but all those distractions have muddied your heart. There is nothing where there these days. What happened? Oh, I remember, you told me. Stress. Pressure. The notion to perform at 100% in life at all times. Guess what, this cannot work. More importantly, what have you felt or learned? In my dreams, you are remarkable. Please do not allow life to get the better of you. There are things only you can do so you must do them. Look at your son. He is amazing and this is almost solely your work.
It is rare to have the ability and opportunity to build a significant life so please make the most of it. Giving in to the everyday pressure of mediocrity and smallness won’t get you to where you need to be. Hey, I know the gnawing feeling of unfulfillment is something you have been grappling with for a while now and you are prepared to completely retool your life. It will be a challenge but not impossible.
Things will change. Look what you have accomplished in your private life! It took you quite some time to get to this point and know exactly who you are so don’t resent the journey. The secret to leading a worthwhile life is to make a few meaningful and thoughtful decisions every day and let go of the rest. And, as you learn to detach yourself from this web you will come to realize your insignificance. All of this, my dear, existed before you were born and will continue to thrive long after your departure. So, optimize your time here for that which has the potential to outlive you.
You must focus on yourself, your son, your family, and friends and leave the rest behind. There is no need to tolerate ignorance. Everything will work out, believe me. You will be fine. You have this little pure soul who depends on you and walks next to you in life wherever you go. Isn’t that everything?
Breathe. Do not forget that this life is yours and first and foremost belongs to you. You have some power over it and can undo many of these wrongs if you choose to. Guess what? When you were born the first debt you inherited was your privilege. Then came the burden of expectations placed on you. This was soon followed by the power others yielded over you. And the final debt is one that grows with each passing day: Time. You wonder about your purpose here but have you considered that perhaps it is to simply walk this earth with joy? If you can say no to anything which does not inspire happiness or peace in you then you are free from all debts. Remember that you can get anything you want but not everything you want. What choices will then lead you to your best life? Aren’t you living it already? I think you do.
You have already learned through all your dramas that humans are transient beings. We all come and go bringing varying measures of joy, pain, longing, and wisdom into the lives of others. This is the natural order of things akin to the ebb and flow of the sea. This is also why you should rethink certain things, choices, and options. It will shape your entire life so do this with care. In all this change, happiness then lies in the constant.
I see you in the mirror every day and wonder about the love that will make you feel this way once again. I need you to regain control of your heart again. To open it. You were made to love and be loved and yet on some days you seem to believe that you are incapable or undeserving of it. Where there were wounds once, now there are scars. But all scars will be loved. I promise. What do you see when you look at your reflection? I hope you can see everything worthy of love in you. I see this every day and it makes me believe in the best of you. I will always believe in you.
All my love,
Yours.
