Dear reader: I have been stuck at home with a horrible cold for the last couple of days but am on the road to recovery. Yay! I have been thinking quite a lot these days (besides sleeping, this was the only thing I was really able to do) and came up with some mindfulness that I would like to share.
How are you? Are you healthy? Are you happy? I don’t mean do you have everything you want in life, but are you generally pleased? No one is happy all of the time, and no one should be. Our bad days make the good so much shinier – how would you know what’s right if you didn’t know what was wrong? It seems silly, but awareness about ourselves and our feelings can have such a big impact on our attitudes. Before we can grow and move forward, we need to make peace with where we are in our lives and figure out how to love ourselves for, not in spite of, it.
What gets you back on track? If you find yourself distracted, put away the phone. It’s hard to focus when there is a cute puppy photo or work email at your fingertips. It is hard not to always think about the unknown or the news. Try to focus on what’s happening right now. You will regret the time you waste. Listening to music is great for mindfulness. Take a break, take a walk, take a nap. Breathing is important, and so is getting out of your headspace. Sometimes a change in perspective can really feel like magic. I might feel initial anger at someone who questions my judgement, but if I sit and think on it, I come up with so many great things that stemmed from this friendship.
Humor always helps. Nora Ephron said, “Everything is copy,” and it’s true. I think of all the great things that were born out of personal experience. Try making a list (physical or mental) of any positives regarding the situation and ask yourself, “is this really so bad? Or am I just anxious about the circumstances because it’s not what I expected?” Your inner negative critic is only trying to help you. Try to really listen and pick up on these thoughts so that you can throw them away and replace them with new ones. Think: What can I learn from this? What can I do to make peace with this? Realize you only need to make yourself happy and don’t compare yourself to anyone else.
At the end of the day, you are the only person you need to worry about pleasing. If there is something that you need to do to feel better, don’t give it a second thought. Staying home to catch up on The Real Housewives is sometimes more important than going out dancing with friends if you don’t feel like it. We are all only human. Stop beating yourself up.
Selfcare is self-preservation. It provides us with the balance and awareness we need to keep running toward our dreams. Once you have taken the time to cultivate a hot and sweet relationship with yourself, you are ready to get out there, make things happen, and tackle whatever comes your way. Don’t talk the talk unless you can walk the walk! In other words: Don’t teach/preach something but be the opposite. Sort of like a holistic nutritionist who smokes and drinks alcohol all day. Eventually, people will know you are faking it.
And finally, keep in mind that it’s tricky to accept that what was once a positive force in your life can come and go like anything else. During times like these, it helps to really think about how much you have grown. The idea of willingly throwing yourself into something that you know will end someday almost seems certifiable. But when you are willing to make peace with this fact, you will know you are headed in the right direction on your journey of self-acceptance. Chapters finish, loose ends may never come together, but we have got to keep moving forward if we want to see what’s waiting just ahead. We never know how many tomorrows we have, so don’t sleep on your dreams. Make a move, buy a home, travel everywhere, whatever makes you happy. Time waits for no one.
As John Lennon said, ” Everything will be okay in the end. If it’s not okay, it’s not the end”.
